Why Is Not a Spiritual Question

“Why Is Not a Spiritual Question” is something my dear friend Jane loved to say, generally in response to my frequent whining, “whyyyyyyyyy is this happening to me?” I thought it sounded really profound until Jane confessed she read it in a crime novel. We had a good laugh over that.

To further illustrate her point, she was a lawyer after all, Jane enjoyed telling a Buddhist story about an elderly farmer and his only son. When the son falls from his horse and breaks his leg, everyone worries as he is vital in running the farm. But the old farmer says, “Could be good, could be bad, we’ll see.”

Later, when the army takes away all the able-bodied young men for war, leaving the lame son behind, everyone praises this twist of fate. Still, the old farmer still says, “Could be good, could be bad, we’ll see.” And so the story goes on…

It’s a tale of the unpredictable nature of life and the not knowing –  are these bad times or good times? We’ll see. What seems like bad fortune might hold unforseen blessings. Only time will tell. In many ways the outcome is not the important thing, because life is always in flux, what matters more is how we deal with this constant uncertainty.

We are uncomfortable because everything in our life keeps changing – our inner moods, our bodies, our work, the people we love, the world we live in. Tara Brach

These were the kinds of random thoughts caroming around my mind as I waited in the Emergency Room, blood trickling from my eye. I felt like a manic mix of wise elder and terrified human.

Isn’t that just life? It’s never one thing or the other.

Emergency rooms are characterised by waiting. It always seems fast-paced and dramatic on TV, but in reality, it’s a parade of medical professionals popping in for brief moments—testing, medicating, scanning, consulting—and then long stretches of solitude. Thankfully, Tara Brach’s audio meditations kept me in good company. I listened to her wise, calming voice for about five hours straight, right until they anaesthetised me for surgery.

The hospital staff remarked on how calm I was. One nurse even asked if I was an athlete. Ha! Hardly. But my heart rate remained steady and low. Even though my mind was far from Zen, every time panic threatened to engulf me, Tara’s dulcet tones guided me back…

Tara: Feel the brow, softening the eyes and receiving sensations. Let a smile spread through the eyes, softening again…

Me: Oh my god! My eye! What if I go blind? What if I can’t read for work? What if I can’t teach? What if I’m maimed? Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!…

Tara: Let there be openness in the chest. Allow the smile’s felt experience to spread through the chest and heart. Make room for life. How does the heart feel from the inside?

One moment, I was dashing between my day job and a client, and the next, as I bent down to pick up the garden hose, a sharp agave leaf pierced straight through my eyeball. Even as I stood up, holding my eye, reassuring myself that “I’m okay, I’m okay,” it’s simply my eye watering, a lot. Then I saw my blood-filled hands.

The peak-hour rush to the hospital, doctor, nurses, undergoing tests — endless waiting, and uncertainty. Sitting in solitude, with only my earphones and Tara’s gentle reassurance for company, as my vision gradually worsened with the collapse of my eyeball. Finally, the relief of being wheeled into surgery and the welcome oblivion of anesthesia…

The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom. Tara Brach

In one small moment, my life, like my eyeball, was completely altered. I couldn’t do anything about it. My plans, my routines, everything I had worked towards, all gone in a moment. Life was emptied out of all its busyness, all those seemingly so-very-important things, like shimmering mirages dissolving into sand.

Returning home, still dazed from anaesthesia and pain medication, I followed the strict instructions to rest—no lying down flat, no bending, no straining. I retreated into meditation, finding moments of calm amidst bouts of panic and tears.

Me: How could this happen? Why? Why? Why?

Tara: Let the next breath be received in a soft belly. This breath. And now this one, and again… 

Do you ever find yourself caught in a spiral of self-blame, questioning why life dealt you these particular cards? Why does it seem that when something goes wrong, our minds leap to find fault within? It’s as if we’re suddenly under a spotlight of blame, dissecting every action, every decision, searching for where we went wrong. Isn’t it exhausting, this relentless pursuit of self-criticism? 

Alongside waves of fear, there’s that nagging worry about what the future holds. Will this setback lead to the unraveling of everything I’ve built? The mind races, checking and rechecking, seeking reassurance in a world of uncertainty.

Awakened mind exists in our surroundings, but how often are we actually touching in with it? Pema Chödrön

The problem with constantly asking “why” is that it doesn’t stop with that one question. “Why” leads to a cascade of questions about the past. Why did that happen? Why did I do that? Why did they do that? It dredges up old regrets and mistakes, overwhelming and painful, like being tackled in a football game and everyone piling on. Blaming ourselves or others for bad things may provide a false sense of control. But life isn’t always manageable, no matter how hard we try.

This critical narrative doesn’t vibe with my belief in a universe that’s inherently life-affirming and supportive, not punitive. Things happen that are beyond my comprehension, but it’s never a simple equation of “I did this, so this happened.” Life is far more complex, more interdependent, far more nuanced than that. 

And still I keep ruminating on how I could have avoided this situation. Even though all spiritual teachings remind me that there’s value in every experience. It’s about how I handle it, how I keep my heart open. These lessons help me connect with the suffering of others.

The wound is the origin of wonder is a beautiful book by poet Maya C. Popa. It explores the deep relationship between pain and awe. Etymologically, “wound” and “wonder” share a Proto-Germanic root “wen,” which signifies desire or striving. Our desire for wonder leads us out of safety and into the world where there is potential suffering. Our wounds often result from this striving, but they can also open us towards greater curiosity and awe for life.

Life can hurt at times. And adversity does seem to make fertile ground for growth. It can awaken us from living on auto-pilot. I feel this recent experience has stopped me, shook me, emptied and rearranged me, changed my focus, literally.

Just pause. Let it be a contrast to being all caught up. Let it be like popping a bubble. Pema Chödrön

Or popping an eyeball? Eeeeeep!

Spiritual traditions give us a compass for difficult times. The Buddha taught that life is suffering and challenged a grieving mother to bring him a mustard seed from one person who had not felt loss. She couldn’t find one.

In the revered yogic scripture on karma yoga and righteous conduct, the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna implores Arjuna to focus on right action. Amidst the daunting prospect of facing his own friends and family on the battlefield, Krishna advises detachment from the outcomes. He teaches the importance of acting in the present moment, aware that the seeds of our actions are sown in the present and will bear fruit in accordance with the cosmic order, not our own plans and designs.

The non-dual spiritual teacher Gangaji guides people through a process of self-enquiry to face their most challenging emotions—fear, anger, jealousy, contempt—until they experience that these feelings aren’t the powerful entities they seem. She extends an invitation to shift identification from the ceaseless activity of the mind to the timeless presence of being.

In the yoga-tantra tradition, in our prayers to the Divine Mother, we acknowledge her presence in every aspect of life, even the difficult ones. She’s there in the pain, confusion and darkness. Her grace shines in everything, even when times seem tough.

These spiritual traditions all point to the true essence of being which resides in the unchanging self, which exists beneath the ever-shifting flux of existence. So how do we access this state of being?

What would it be like if I could accept life – accept this moment – exactly as it is? Tara Brach

Meditation is simply being with what is, including but not limited to or dominated by, the fluctuating chatter of the mind. Using the breath, body awareness and sensations as anchors, meditation allows a settling into and abiding in, and as, a state of awareness which underlies our experience of life.

If the noise of life is the foreground, this state is the ever-present silent background, the sky unchanged by the weather. The ocean encompassing the waves. For me it feels like like this vast, deep calm that I can drop into, always still regardless of the disturbance at the surface.

All truth is a paradox. Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift, and it’s impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It’s been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely sensitive. It’s so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder if we’re being punked. Anne Lamott

Sometimes, in the middle of this mental chaos, I walk. Writer Sarah Wilson says walking occurs at the pace of rational thought. Bathed in the warmth of the sun and the dappled tree light. Even in my blurred vision, there’s a strange beauty, a nostalgic film-like quality to the world around me. And in those moments, my mind quiets, and I remember to breathe.

As I breathe I remember that the disaster my mind conjures is not the reality, it’s as Tara Brach would say a “trance” or “virtual reality.” My mind is a movie maker of epic proportions. In returning to the breath, to the sensations of the body and senses, I become one of many beings in this world. Connected by our interdependence, by our shared aliveness. There’s a recognition that suffering is not unique to me; it permeates every corner of the world. It’s not some divine punishment directed solely at me.

There’s a shared humanity in our struggles, evident in the countless stories of hardship and resilience played out in the news. Our suffering makes us human.

So, as I navigate this time of uncertainty, I hold to the belief that there’s a larger tapestry at play. As I sink into the pain and fear, I let it open my heart in compassion to the suffering of the world. Compassion for those suffering in places like Gaza. This is the Buddhist practice of Tonglen. I breathe in the pain and breathe out compassion for my fellow humans.

Whatever it is you are doing, the magic, the sacredness, the expansiveness, the stillness, stays with you. Pema Chödrön

Connection. That’s what’s kept me going.
Meditation and devotion offer spiritual support, but it’s the loving kindness of my friends and family, my fellow humans, that truly sustains me.

My psychologist challenged me to accept offers of help. To let people see me messy, my house messy. It was surprisingly challenging.

Even though I know my friends love me unconditionally I was afraid of being seen in such a vulnerable state. But I accepted the experiment to say yes to this tribe of loving people who wanted to help and care for me.

When someone says to us, as Thich Nhat Hanh suggests, “Darling, I care about your suffering,” a deep healing begins. Tara Brach

Some days I was flat and tired, or emotional and crying. Other days I was able to laugh and find joy in connection. These beautiful people met me where I was in many tiny beautiful ways. One day, on the phone to a friend after my first post-op check up – the news wasn’t what I hoped for – I broke down. My son walked in from work and gently touched my shoulder as he passed. Such a sublime act of love and support.

And really what do my little problems matter in the world? There is so much suffering. How do we make sense of any of it? We really can’t. Life is too short and precious to get paralysed by analysing the why’s. I must simply be in the world, in whatever way I can. Today, that might mean simply making it through the day, refusing to be swallowed by despair when life knocks me down.

We’re all interconnected. There are no separate people. We just think we’re separate and that’s why we are suffering. Every chant is about peace. Every chant is about love. You have to let yourself feel it. If you don’t let yourself feel it, how is somebody else going to feel it? Find that peace in you and then anyone you meet will feel it. Krishna Das

Krishna Das says that for there to be peace in this world, we must find peace in our selves. The battle that is raging in our minds is what creates external battles among friends, families, and communities, and even escalates into war. It’s up to us to navigate our own life and to face our internal conflicts with awareness and as much loving acceptance as we can muster.

This is where the real power of meditation comes in, as I discovered during the Covid lockdowns. When everything else was stripped away, meditation allowed me to tap into a sense of connection and meaning despite my sense of isolation and powerlessness.

Jon Kabat Zinn says meditation is about connecting with what is deepest, best, and authentic in yourself, which can lead to moments of insight and learning.

There is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind of lasting way, unless you’re waiting for an organ. You can’t buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind. Anne Lamott

Maintaining a meditation practice all these years has proved invaluable to me. Whether during times of adversity or just the daily demands of life, I find immense refuge in this practice. In truth, it’s not always a peaceful experience — there are times when my mind runs wild during meditation. (that’s why it’s called the “monkey” mind.)

Through (mostly) consistent practice, and (attempting) a loving tolerance of my monkey mind, I’m cultivating an ability to gently guide my awareness away from thought and back to my breath, my body, and the present moment. Sometimes, many, many times during a meditation session, I catch myself in thought and gently bring my awareness back. Each time I do this, it’s like forging and strengthening new neural pathways in my mind. I’m reminding myself – over and over – that no matter how busy or turbulent my thoughts may be, I can always return to a place of calm awareness that includes my mind but isn’t controlled by it.

I can’t undo all I have done to myself, what I have let an appetite for love do to me. I have wanted all the world, its beauties and its injuries; some days, I think that is punishment enough. Maya C. Papa

So here’s to easing up and not driving ourselves mad asking why things happen. Maybe just try to meditate a little instead?

(and if you’re interested in some guided meditations to try click here or on my Sound Cloud link in the side-bar)

(and here is my “Emergency Meditations” Playlist)

Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts below…

ॐ

Christina is a yoga and meditation teacher, sound healer, holder of sacred space, Chakradance facilitator and writer. She is passionate about wellbeing and brings her extensive knowledge though studies in yoga wisdom teachings, sound healing and shamanism to her practice.

After enlightenment, now what?

In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors. William Blake

No one tells you about the doors you can open that can’t be shut. The doors of perception, of consciousness.

Well, except for Blake and Huxley, and Therese of Avila… And probably most mystics who ever said anything or wrote anything down. Yeah, except for them.

I guess it’s a little like childbirth, it is one thing to read about it, quite another to actually experience it.

But I digress, back to the doors…

For some people these doors of perception remain tightly and purposely closed.

Perhaps only when facing their own mortality will they begin to allow a crack in their absolute certainty, and wonder – is this all there is? This world that I experience with my five senses? This body? Is there nothing else?

Others may believe in an existence beyond what they directly experience as reality, but choose to learn through intermediaries, from scripture, and the priests of their religion, what these other realms may be, and what wisdom there is to be gained from them.

There is nothing inherently wrong with choosing to keep one’s perception of human existence entirely in the physical dimension, except our spirit isn’t entirely contained in our body, so if we do limit our consciousness in this way, we are invariably being impacted by forces beyond our knowing. 

It’s a little like thinking there’s a big old wall around your house, so that means nothing can get in. Except a tornado can, or lightning, or anything that can breach that wall, really.

It’s a little like driving the world’s most powerful, elite sports car, but never pushing it beyond 40 miles an hour.

Consciousness is a marvellous vehicle, but you have to learn how best to use it.

But then ignorance is bliss, right? Or so they say.

And for people who choose to follow an established belief system, they can undoubtedly gain wisdom through spiritual practice, but who is interpreting this wisdom? Who decides what practices they should engage in? Are these practices meaningful to them personally, in this day and age, in this culture and under these circumstances? Or is it a dogmatic, one-size-fits-all approach to spirituality?

Are modern interpretations of ancient texts enough on their own to enable spiritual growth? Even the great mystics and masters have always said “don’t follow me, find your own path to enlightenment.”

Now don’t get me wrong, there is great wisdom in spiritual texts, but surely it needs to be experienced, not passively absorbed.

There is much to be said, then, for direct revelation. Direct, personal experience of the spiritual realms. Especially when using consciousness expanding techniques that have been tried and tested over tens of thousands of years.

So why would we want to open these doors into other states of consciousness and venture into non-ordinary realms of reality?

Imagination is the real and eternal world of which this vegetable universe is but a faint shadow. William Blake

The answer can be somewhat hard to explain, but so far, this is my best analogy…

Let’s assume for a moment that there are many layers of reality, most of which are imperceptible in ordinary, five-sensory reality.

Physical, ordinary, five-sensory reality is what most people see, unless they are psychic or a mystic and then they may routinely see other subtler realities – or hear them, or feel them, or sense them.

Science, mainly quantum physics, tells us this is so. The ‘God’ particle, the intelligence inherent in what we used to think was empty space. The way ‘reality’ is a co-created perception with our own consciousness. All suggests there is no ‘one reality.’

  

The eye altering, alters all. William Blake

While the science may not yet prove the existence of other realms, it does suggest that there is much more out there to be experienced that we routinely do experience. 

The human mind functions predominantly as a filter, it only processes the information it sees as imperative to survival. The rest it ignores. 

There is evidence that the brain processes information according to pattern recognition and memory recall. That is, the mind sees what it already knows or believes to be true. 

Like those tribes of Polynesia who couldn’t see Captain Cook’s tall ships as they arrived. It was just beyond their perception. Didn’t mean those boats didn’t exist. They were just beyond the tribes people’s  comprehension of reality. So they were literally invisible to them. How much don’t we see because it is beyond our comprehension?

But we can train the mind to open, to comprehend, and to experience more. 

All people can access these subtler realms of reality in a shamanic state of consciousness. It is not restricted to shamans. It’s just a matter of learning to ‘see’ with consciousness, and not the physical senses.

In another tall ship story, a shaman saw only the disturbance in the waves caused by Christopher Columbus’ tall ships. Knowing something must be there to cause the water to behave this way, he focused his awareness until he could see the ships. Once he described the ship to the other tribespeople, they could see it too.

  

Humans have great difficulty perceiving what they cannot conceive. Maanna Stephenson

Experience what, you might ask? What can you perceive in a shamanic state of consciousness? 

Other realms, the transcendent worlds of spirit guides and power animals, the parts of our world we have filtered out; nature spirits, elemental spirits, the hidden folk, fairies, forest sprites… The stuff of folk tales. The interconnected web of life, infused with spirit, that surrounds us. That is us. 

But why do we want to access these realms, you say? What purpose does it serve? I’m sorry, but did you miss the part about fairies…

I’m kidding. We can access these realms for information, divination, and healing, at levels beyond what our temporal, rational minds can usually access.

  

Man’s perceptions are not bounded by organs of perception, he perceives more than sense (tho’ ever so acute) can discover. William Blake

Okay so here’s my analogy. 

Think Google maps – just stay with me here…

In Google maps, you can see your house, close-up in satellite street view, which is a valid perspective, in fact, it is very close to your own visual perspective when you look at your street. 

Then you can expand the view, and the whole suburb opens up. It gives you a better overview. In fact you can see the entire world from that perspective, if you keep zooming out. An impossibility with the naked eye.

Accessing non-ordinary reality is a little like accessing a Google map. It gives you a far greater overview and insight than you could perceive with your naked senses.

Except in a shamanic state of consciousness, this ‘map’ is alive with helping spirits who can actually interact with you and help you perceive beyond your limited local view. And there’s not just one map but many…

The imagination is not a state: it is the human existence itself. William Blake

Most writers, artists and mystics will describe the state of inspiration as being somewhat otherworldly, as if the ideas came through them, rather than from them.

Everything that can be imagined has a reality in some plane of consciousness. 

The worlds these creatives describe are often magical, mystical, yet sometimes dark and terrifying. 

In New Age vernacular, the world beyond ordinary perceptions, is often described in rainbow colours, and feelings of oneness with the source of all love and light. 

A shamanic journeyer knows this is spiritual denial. Yes, there are realms of crystal palaces where angels and light-wielding guides heal with rainbow light rays, in colours beyond anything you can imagine here in ordinary reality. 

But anyone who has truly journeyed with spirit knows much of her worth will not involve these realms so much as negotiating with confused spirits and navigating realms that make most horror movies look like a picnic.

I have a deck of Angel Tarot cards by a very famous New Age practitioner and this deck proudly claims to have no ‘negative’ cards and not to use reversed cards. (in the tarot a reversed card usually indicates a block or challenge).

Now I subscribe to the theory that even the most painful and difficult life circumstances provide an opportunity for growth and evolution, but that doesn’t mean we should pretend that bad things don’t exist. 

There seems to be a growing number of New Age thinkers who will tell you that you can manifest anything you want in this world, if you just focus on it, and if you can’t manifest it’s because you’re not focusing in the right way. 

Anything ‘negative’ that appears to happen to you is a manifestation of your own fears and all you need to do is bring down copious amounts of white light, think happy thoughts, and voila! All gone. Like magic. 

I have succumbed to this ‘magical thinking’ before – I mean who wouldn’t? it’s so seductive! – and I used an inordinate amount of energy trying to white-light everything that happened to me, and every one else, and it’s exhausting. 

It also breeds a certain lack of empathy. If you follow this theory to it’s logical end, any suffering is self-inflicted, and the sufferer has the power to change it, if only they would. 

And I know from personal experience that when you are suffering deeply, the least helpful and loving thing someone can do is suggest you need to think more positively. Pain and fear are our teachers too. 

Now while there are grains of truth in utilising the power of our intentions in manifesting – as I have already said, we have all kinds of untapped power in our consciousness. I found myself becoming terrified of any ‘negativity’ as if it was contagious, a rampant viral force obliterating my chance at attracting abundance. 

Carl Jung approached this natural avoidance of the ‘dark’ within us in his work on the shadow. The shadow is the parts of ourselves we deny and avoid. These consciously rejected qualities are forced into the unconscious. 

Bringing the unconscious into consciousness and facing these qualities is the way to truly integrate them. 

Denial and suppression actually creates an unhealthy power, where the very parts of ourselves we wish to avoid are ruling us from the unconscious.  

All those years I avoided the dark, in the mistaken belief that focusing exclusively on the light would make me strong, I was denying the true source of my power. 

Because that dark stuff really exists, it is here, and denying it doesn’t make it go away, it just feeds on our fear.

I know this because when I journeyed, in all naïveté and curiousity, to a realm of souls trapped in various forms of suffering, it terrified me so much my spiritual power began diffusing.

Very quickly I saw how my fear was both allowing my power to be diffused and drained – making me more vulnerable to the very things I was afraid of – as well as making these spirits more powerful. 

Right then, I learned a very valuable lesson about powering up and utilising my spirit allies and setting very clear intentions about where I was journeying and why. 

In the same way you wouldn’t wander alone and without purpose in a bad neighbourhood at night. You wouldn’t mess with these energies more that once, without making sure you were completely prepared the next time.

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so we can fear less. Marie Curie

After settling myself, with my power animal beside me, I went back to this realm. I saw it from a new perspective. These were reflections of aspects in my unconscious that I was afraid of, that I suppressed. My projected shadow created the fear. There really wasn’t any need for fear, these spirits were suffering, they were trapped. I could help them or detach from them. But there was no need to fear. 

So, after that experience, why would I want to do shamanic work, you ask?

I’m not sure it’s a matter of want. I’d feel a little pretentious at this early stage saying it was a calling, I mean I don’t even know if I’m any good at it yet.

But I have no doubt I have been led here. That much has been articulated clearly. When I try for specifics my spirit guides go a little quiet and look away. There is always a limit to how much we are able to know without the knowing driving us mad. Slowly, slowly is their motto.

I guess it’s those darn doors again. They are open, I’ve seen what’s there, so I figure I may as well learn how to manage it as best I can. 

Shamans are not well paid, the hours suck and there’s no sick leave or pension plan. You work until you die.

One of my teachers says he never really sleeps, He is on call 24/7. At night as we dream, many of us travel to these realms, and the shaman knows to be aware.

In traditional cultures when a child was “called” to be a shaman – usually after a long illness where they experienced fevers and delirious states, or after displaying natural psychic abilities. Their parents would cry and mourn the loss, as the status of a shaman was not always a desirable one. 

Who wants to live next door to someone who talks to spirits?

So it’s not so much a choice or a want, but a path you find yourself on, and once you’ve opened those doors…

  

I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man’s. I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. William Blake

So where am I going with all this?

Things have been a little quiet here on Seven Intentions. I haven’t written for a while. And as I sat to write of my experience of the last six weeks, I found it very hard to articulate it.

Three weeks ago, I returned from Bali where I was studying Core Shamanism with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies. Established by anthropologist Michael Harner, the course teaches practices and techniques from around the world, to modern shamans. I wrote about Michael in more detail in my last post.

This course appealed to me for several reasons. It promised to teach various shamanic healing techniques including soul retrieval, which was what had interested me in shamanism in the first place.

The weeks I spent in Bali were full immersion, in a place that feels mystical and magical, where the honouring of spirits and Gods is as much as part of daily life as eating and sleeping.

Waking each day to the sounds of the jungle, walking to a local yoga studio with a vista of rice terraces and temples, where even the yoga seemed more gentle and organic, where the teacher sang gently in Indonesian and ours souls drifted up on her notes.

Walking, swimming, eating fresh, organic food… And that’s before I even started my course in journeying to other worlds.

Living in Ubud is full noise, life and nature collide in a beauty that is raw and visceral, and cannot help but awaken the senses.

I think if I’m truly honest, one of the things that really interested me in this particular course, was a chance to be in a real life shamanic community. 

You see, I have studied shamanism for nearly a year with Sandra Ingerman, and prior to that I did my Chakradance facilitator training. But these were all online communities. And while they have been fabulous, and I have loved the people I ‘met’ there, I think I had begun to feel increasingly isolated.

  

You see, I’m a librarian, I don’t work in a therapeutic community (even though working in a public library, sometimes it feels that way). I’m a weekend practitioner. I have a few friends who work in various forms of spiritual healing, but we are all pretty new to it.

On returning home, the isolation became so profound to be a full-blown existential crisis. I felt lost. I felt like I didn’t fit anywhere. I felt like I didn’t  even fit in my own life.

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. Soren Kierkegaard 

My day job is becoming less meaningful to me; at the same time it’s squeezing me more and more financially. There’s a sense that it will be time to move on soon, and this is the period of letting go.

Despite my financial squeeze, I feel compelled to teach Chakradance in places where people ask me to, which at the moment happens to be Northern NSW and Ubud.

On the one hand, this seems almost impossible financially and yet my guides are telling me to invest in myself. “Back yourself” were their exact words.

Yet again I find myself wishing for a group of people I could talk to about this. Not everyone is open to a conversation that begins “So my power animal says…”

Now I’m sure compared to other more immediate crises, this all sounds very self-indulgent. The thing is I’m not used to riding out this stuff without a community.

For fifteen years, I had an identity and a community. I was a recovering alcoholic and I had my people, we were all in recovery, in 12 step programs, we spoke the same language, we used the same solutions for problems, and we ‘got’ each other. I had a hundred numbers in my phone that could call day or night and get ‘identification,’ that sense that I was heard and understood.

Over the last two years, however my language, my world view began to change. I began to experience things that ‘my people’ didn’t always understand.

In Jungian terms, I had reached a point in my process of individuation where I had to integrate. My unconscious rose up, I was forced to face all the things I had repressed in myself, and I experienced a deep and lengthy depression.  

This process necessarily involved letting go of my persona – my public self – and my established place in community, to allow a holistic self to emerge from within. Acceptance and validation from outside became less important than finding meaning from within. 

But I knew these were precious and magical gifts. The option to put down my gifts and walk away, in order to remain fully immersed in my tribe, just seemed like too high a price for belonging. Actually it was an impossibility. 

  

So I followed my gifts, they led me to Chakradance and Druidry and Shamanism. It’s been an exquisite journey; equal parts of joy and despair at times, but an increasingly lonely one. I found myself going within rather than trying to explain to others what I was experiencing. 

And for those three weeks in Bali, I had people I could talk openly with about other realms and spirit guides and I feel the absence of that.

So I realized this is a need for community. Maybe I need to create my own, I thought. Power animal nods, she doesn’t say a lot, except ‘slow down,’ ‘rest,’ ‘focus,’ and ‘be patient,’ but she lets me know when I’m on the right track.

My friend did a tarot reading for me, what came up was the need to not have rigid expectations of this community, to let it evolve. This community will not fulfill all my needs, and it won’t be about conformity. Once we have begun individuating the self, conformity is not an option. Yet surely we can still find like-minded people to relate with. 

I think there is maturity in realizing that other people cannot fulfill all my needs. I have these various communities and they all fulfill certain needs, but at some point we all have to face the dark nights of the soul alone. There are some places we cannot take our human companions.

Living a spiritual life may not be easy. It demands total authenticity. It brings you to dance to a unique song that only you can hear fully, and sometimes you dance alone because no others can hear the music. Debra Moffitt 

So without setting such lofty expectations on it, I thought why not create a circle of journeyers, so we all can talk through and support each other in our experiences.

So in answer to my question, after enlightenment, now what? Now the true work begins. The doors are open; I can shift between realms and access the wisdom and healing there. What do I intend to do with that?

Despite bucket loads of fear and self-doubt, I intend to use these gifts to guide others. It’s what I love and apparently, it’s what I do well.

The path to the true self requires a deep connection with spirit, and shamanic journeying has given me that in a more profound and direct way than I have ever experienced before. I no longer have to wait for ‘divine guidance,’ I can journey in consciousness and ask for it. Yes, the answer may be be ‘wait’ but it’s still an answer, a direct answer from spirit to me. How cool is that?

The sense of being in a circle is right, when I teach Chakradance, when I’m in sacred space, I feel truly happy. My spirit soars and sings and my power is up, I can feel my spirit allies with me. It’s hard to describe, but when it’s right, it’s so right.

Blessings. 

If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern. William Blake

  
Images:

Main image Odin Journeying by Joan Baxter

Full Tide by Joan Baxter

Shamanic Journey by Willow Arlenea

Eternal Harmony by Tania Marie

Wolf by Pixie Campbell 

The Road to Emmaus by Daniel Bonnell

Jesus Calms the Storm by Daniel Bonnell

The Weaver by Kim McElroy

Shamanic Journeying by Jennifer Baird

Shamans Journey by Love1008

Pleiades Star Goddess by Katherine Skaggs

What is love anyway?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day’s Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Finding myself bemused by my New Year intentions, that one repeated word intrigues me. Love. What does that even mean?

These are my intentions, by the way. I can’t even remember them, so I certainly don’t expect you to!

Love myself, Love the natural world, Love animals, Love people, Love my work, Love my space, Love my spirit

I don’t know if it’s the Valentine’s Day hangover, but that amount of love is making me feel a little nauseous.

Love is a word so overloaded with meaning, both societal and personal. Poems and songs are written about its lofty heights. It’s the word used to describe both our most precious relationships and how we feel about a good cup of coffee or a new dress.

What did I really mean when I wrote these intentions to love so widely and completely?

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close. Pablo Neruda

To love myself or love nature, is that the same kind of love? Does it need to be? Could these intentions be an exercise in stretching my ‘love muscles’ – and you can get your mind out of the gutter, right now. There’s more than one kind of love, y’know.

There are so many different kinds of love. Love can mean like, adore, adulate, care for, worship, cherish, yearn for, hold dear, pine for, enjoy, like, delight in, savour, fancy, admire… you get the idea. Other languages and cultures are much more nuanced in their expression of love – with words for which you need a whole sentence in English.

Saudade (Pronunciation: saw•’day•djee – Portugese) n., a strong feeling of missing someone you love.

In his wonderful article on the subject, philosopher Roman Krznaric, writes that the Greek language distinguishes at least six different ways as to how the word love is used.

The ancient Greeks were just as sophisticated in the way they talked about love, recognizing six different varieties. They would have been shocked by our crudeness in using a single word both to whisper “l love you” over a candlelit meal and to casually sign an email “lots of love.” Roman Krznaric

The first kind of love was eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. Something the Greeks saw as a frightening loss of control, not the desirable state of constant arousal our modern society views it as.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. Neil Gaiman

The second variety of love was philia or friendship, which was valued more highly by the Greeks than the sexuality of eros. Philia describes the deep friendship that developed between men who had fought side by side on the battlefield – it epitomised loyalty, sacrifice and the sharing of deeply affecting experiences.

We’d never know how high we are ’till we are called to rise; and then, if we are true to plan, our statures touch the sky. Emily Dickinson

Ludis was the Greeks’ idea of playful love, such as the affection between children or young lovers. Think of flirting, teasing, bantering and light-hearted fun.

The fourth love was agape or selfless love. This was a love that you extended to all people – compassion, charity and an empathy for all people (and all living things).

Pragma was the deep understanding between long-married couples, who demonstrate compromise, patience and tolerance.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. Friedrich Nietzsche

The Greek’s sixth variety of love was philautia or self-love, of which there were two kinds. One was a narcissistic self-love, where you became self-obsessed and focused on selfish ends. The second type was the idea that if you have a healthy self-love, you will have plenty of love to give others.

Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them. Leo Tolstoy

Krznaric suggests there is a correlation between the lack of attention given to these non-sexual, non-romantic forms of love and the modern obsession with romantic love, and with finding ‘the one’. The Greeks clearly articulated that expecting one person to fulfil all our love needs was completely unrealistic.

So it makes sense that there are different kinds of love, and perhaps we are designed to experience them all. Like getting all our nutrients, perhaps this longing for the ‘one’ is a manifestation of unfulfilled love in other parts of our life. Too much focus on the meat and not enough vegetables. (Okay, that pun was intended.)

On a recent shamanic journey, I was shown another aspect of love, receiving. One of my regular animal guides, the wolf, took me on a journey that showed me how resistant I am to the love and support all around me.

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love. Rainer Maria Rilke

As the western world celebrates – or commiserates – Valentine’s Day, I wondered why we laud the romantic love above all else?

Feeling triggered by the ebbs and flows of my own heartbreak, I found the constant emphasis on that kind of love demoralising. A guy from an online dating site asked me ‘what had reduced such a beautiful, intelligent woman to this?’ I found that strange. I didn’t feel reduced. I wanted to meet single men, it seemed like the place to do it, was I missing something?

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. Arthur Golden

And then, after some last minute cancellations, I found myself waiting for the last remaining Chakradance attendee who was a no show. Abandoned on Valentine’s Day. Uh oh.

Then tears came. I wish they didn’t. I wish I could write that I’m all strong and warrior-like, but I’m not.

As I sat in my beautiful studio, feeling alone and abandoned. Opening my eyes a sliver of light from the red candle flame was kaleidoscoped by my tears. So unexpectedly beautiful – the outlines of angels and holographic tribal images. I began to play with my tear-filled eyes. It’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…

Love is so short, forgetting is so long. Pablo Neruda

Unable to reconcile the Valentine red hearts, roses, and chocolate idea of love; the light and sparkly new age all-embracing love; and the love that has left me so bereft,  it occurred to me that love is so much deeper than the use of word suggests. The love of mother at her child’s sick bed. Of a husband as he holds his dying wife’s hand…

Love is a risk. The risk of the loss of that which we love. Love walks the razor’s edge between unconditional love and devastating, debilitating attachment.

What is to give light must endure burning. Viktor Frankl

Love is an act of courage. The courage to remain open after the heaviness and shards of hurt rain down on us. In the birth/death/rebirth cycle, grief is an inevitable part of love.

Grief reunites you with what you’ve lost. It’s a merging; you go with the loved thing or person that’s going away. You follow it a far as you can go. But finally, the grief goes away and you phase back into the world. Without him. Philip K Dick

Martin Prechtel is the author of Secrets of the Talking Jaguar, an autobiographical account of his initiation as a Mayan Shaman. His lecture series on Grief and Praise is a simple yet profound insight into the false distinction between love and loss, positive and negative emotions.

It is an interesting reflection on our modern desire to both suppress grief, whilst simultaneously expressing it in unhealthy and unhealing ways, on Jerry Springer, Facebook, from a bar stool. Most of us lack the real community which would hold us as we safely grieve.

It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses. Colette

Prechtel talks about grief and praise as part of the same continuum, as a yin/yang process where one always contains the other – it must or it is devoid of any real depth. Love and praise are only of substance if there is a connection involved where the loss would be felt deeply.

I love my cup of coffee but if I spill it, I’ll be upset for a moment and annoyed, but there’ll be no real grief. My dog on the other hand… The same goes for grief. We only grieve that which we have deeply loved. If there is no grief, there was no real love.

The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God! Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Perhaps this kind of community, Pretchel speaks of, where people can bear witness to our pain and our joys is something we have to create in the modern world, we don’t live in extended families and tribes, and if we break down in the street we are more likely to be carted off to the psych ward than given a cup of tea and a friendly shoulder to cry on.

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break. William Shakespeare

In a society where it is not safe to grieve, we abandon ourselves before anyone can abandon us, and withhold emotions because we fear it is unsafe. This repression and denial of grief manifests as all kinds of psychosis and physical symptoms, passed down as psychic wounds from generation to generation. These tribal and ancestral wounds are energetically lodged in our base chakra and can make us feel unsafe and insecure.

You won’t find these wounds on an x-ray or ultrasound, yet they will emerge from within when it is safe, if the timing is right, and you have the tools to process and honour them, if you give them the words they need to take flight, you can finally grieve them.

Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering. Roland Barthes

I was fifteen the first time tried to take my own life. That wasn’t the last time. That medicine cabinet still stands in my mother’s bathroom. Whenever I see it, I can still feel the ache of that girl.

As she emptied the pills in her hand. Her tears as she swallowed them, really thinking it was the end. Of what she thought she would find there. Relief, escape from the burden of an open heart.

Instead of a white cadillac to the clouds, I vomited until I bled, and there were tearful confessions, remonstrations, and resolutions.

It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. Joseph Campbell

I don’t know what makes someone that thin-skinned. I don’t know why things never bounced off my skin the way the did off other people’s. Why the stings and arrows all got wedged in my heart.

This has been my journey. Being born with an over-full, ever-open heart. Experiencing shame at a too young age. Learning that people would stop loving me if I wasn’t good enough.

Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing. Elizabeth Gilbert

Open heart. Broken ever wider. Yet when I journey there I see a beautiful garden growing in the ruins.

Maybe it’s okay to be alone in my garden. It’s beautiful. It lives. I am grateful.

So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love. E.A. Bucchianeri

I am grateful for my body
I am grateful for my heart
I am grateful for my spirit

Bless!

Images: http://www.jamesreads.com/

Lost in connection

When you have once seen the glow of happiness on the face of a beloved person, you know that a man can have no vocation but to awaken that light on the faces surrounding him. In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus

So it’s Sunday night. And I haven’t yet written a post this week. Not even a word. I had intended to. I even gave it a half-hearted try, but no words came.

Probably if I have nothing to say, I should just be quiet. But it scares me. The thought that this blog might just fall away. Of falling back into the silent, isolated abyss.

It’s nearly been a year of weekly writing for me. I’ve published over fifty posts. At an average of 1500-2000 words – that’s a decent sized book in anyone’s language.

There’s been over 12,000 views of my blog. Wow! This from a girl who wouldn’t even show her writing to one person, prior to that.

So what? Well, I’ve always wanted to be a writer and I kind of feel like I am now. I feel like I have connected with an audience, and that’s very special. So I don’t want to let it slide.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality. John Lennon

Because that’s what I do. In my pursuit of one thing I get distracted by the next thing and well, as my dear dad says, I lack ‘stickability’.

I mean I can’t tell you how many things I have started and not finished. Crafts? Do not go there! There’s half-knitted scarves, half-sewn dresses, a bag full of items that need to be ‘mended’. AND I’m twice divorced…

I guess with my last relationship ending and other things in my life seeming less that satisfactory, not to mention the growing ‘to be continued’ hobby pile, I need some evidence that I’m not a total flake.

So I made myself think, what do I want to write about?

I am spoilt for choice at the moment – I’m practising chakradance, studying druidry and doing an online course in shamanic journeying.

It’s hard to know where to start with all the things that are happening.

As well as practicing these three disciplines, I’m also working full-time, teaching Chakradance out of hours and and raising a teenager.

This week my normally manageable child went a little off the rails and I was left – alone – to do some pretty serious parenting.

It got me thinking about all these seemingly disparate things. My lack of stickability, my failed relationships, my aversion to serious parenting. As well as my fascination with all things other-worldly.

The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Here I am desperately wanting to connect with non-ordinary reality, whilst wanting to give ordinary reality a wide berth.

If it’s all about connection, why is it I prefer to connect with nature and spirit guides to the flesh and blood people in my life?

If it’s guidance I seek from the spirit world, shouldn’t I be carrying this across to my real life? Shouldn’t I be more connected to the world, to the people I love?

Connection is at the heart of all my intentions. A desire to be connected to a place called home, to be connected through community to like-minded people, to be connected to life through meaningful purpose, connection to my body in vibrant health, connection to the flow of life through abundance and joy, and the big kahuna, love, which is the ultimate connective tissue, really.

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness. Albert Schweitzer

At the heart of longing for anything is it’s opposite. So this blog came from a deep sense of disconnection to all these things. A disconnectness so deep I was struggling to even hold onto life itself.

It has been hugely inspiring for me to hear shamanic practitioner and teacher Sandra Ingerman talk about her recovery from chronic depression as a reconnection with the beauty of life. She says that it is not that her depression has been cured or has gone away through shamanic practice, but the practice has opened her up to the inherent beauty and wisdom in all things, depression included.

We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep. William James

I found myself feeling a bit panicky, I mean it’s nearly twelve months since I started this blog and I still have no home of my own, nor a loving partner. As I have said my inspiration for this blog was Noelle Oxenhandler’s wonderful book, The Wishing Year, and she got all her wishes by the end of the year.

This prompted me to feel a little desperate in regards to finding a love, funny how the home thing I’m happy to let unfold, but the tick-tock of time brings me great panic in the love stakes.

I say to spirit “You know these are the best years of my life, I’m pretty comfortable in my skin, I’m still kind of attractive, I don’t want to waste them!”

Spirit just laughs.

The funny thing is when I’m truly connected to spirit I don’t feel this need. So that suggests to me that it’s an attachment of the ego. Which is probably not a good basis to approach love from, so I chase my tail around a few times and then give it up. Whatevs universe, whatevs!

No, I am being flippant. When really, my heart deeply yearns for someone to connect with at that truly intimate level. I yearn for someone to share my life with. To share my love with. To love out my days with.

I do think what this eleven months of intentional living has given me, more than a house or a man to love, is insight.

…A way to bring their suffering into a context in which healing could occur at a level that was soul deep. That kind of healing can only happen in a world that is both numinous and immanent. That is a world in which the presence of the sacred is available for intimate contact. Timothy Flynn

And it is the kind of insight that Sandra talks about, the ability to see the beauty in what is, as well as what has been, and feel a sense of peace about it all. Well, mostly…

This insight reminds me that I am part of this great web of life, I am neither incredibly important, nor irrelevant, I’m part of it, just as every living thing is. And it is only by recognising this great connectedness to all that is, that I see my purpose as so far beyond what I do, think or feel. My purpose is embedded in my very existence and the way that interweaves with others, people, animals, rocks and waters.

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibres, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects. Herman Melville

I love the concept of journeying. It has this interconnectedness as its essence. It has emerged for me in Chakradance – which is a dance journey through the seven chakras. In druidry and shamanism, which both base their wisdom on both learning from human knowledge, but also connecting with spirit in various forms by journeying to the otherworld of non-ordinary reality.

Journeying works both as a practice, the actual journey we make with the music or drumming and the visualizing and the use of senses beyond the perceptive space of ordinary reality. It also works as a philosophy. To view life as a journey, as an experiential learning and growing exercise.

The terms “ordinary reality” and “non-ordinary reality” come from Carlos Casteneda. Ordinary reality is the reality that we all perceive together. It’s the reality in which we can all agree that there is a clock on the wall. Non-ordinary reality is the reality that is associated with the shamanic state of consciousness; that is, when the consciousness has been altered and you’re able to see what you normally don’t see in an ordinary state of consciousness. Michael Harner

When I view life this way, in the journey through life, all is meant to be. My great traumas, which resulted in great fragmentation of my soul and soul loss allowed my soul to learn, to return to me enhanced by the journey. Experience has made me compassionate, non-judgemental, and open-hearted. Recovering from suicidal depression has given me a great reverence for life.

As I said, the Chakradance practice is a journey. It is a wonderful practice for integrating and connecting all life experience. As I delve into these other realms, I find myself dancing it out. Unfolding in a space of movement and sound. Using rattles and clap sticks has deepened my dance – into a multi-sensory and extra-sensory experience.

In an attempt to keep up with daily practice of the three disciplines I am following, I have attempted some integration, for my personal use, of course, when I teach I am very clear to stay true to the Chakradance structure. It is important to learn the original structure of a discipline before we can incorporate our own personal spiritual journey within that, as these personalised practices may only be meaningful for us alone, in the same way each journey we undertake is personal to us.

I begin with a druidic and shamanic blessing of the space – there’s much overlap between the practices, then I practice energy work sometimes with some chanting, I go into my internal sacred space and meditate. Finishing up with chakradancing, chanting and playing my slapsticks and rattles. It’s busy and eclectic, but I’m settling into something that really works for me on all levels.

I have learned the importance of intention, so last night I set the intention for healing and guidance, particularly with some issues that have arisen with my teenage son.

As I danced through the chakras and made lots of noise with my instruments, I entered that state where the boundaries between the worlds blur.

With my eyes closed, I danced and made noise and began to interact with spirit.

At the base chakra I encountered mother bear, who showed me the power of protective love. At the sacral chakras a water turtle showed me to go slow, be patient and steadfast, allow things to emerge over time. At the solar plexus chakra a young wolf showed me community and masculine power.

The heart chakra was the realm of angelic love and healing. At the throat chakra the reverent and peaceful blue-hooded priestesses imbued me with calm and peaceful communication. The third eye chakra took me to the realm of my upper world guide. A being of light who takes me to the furthest star to swim in a crystal pool of the bluest and greenest water where I somersault like a baby seal.

At the crown chakra, the beautiful druidess meets me and guides me to the energy that is the source of all things. Is she me? A higher version of self? I’m not sure.

Are these real spirit guides? Are they archetypes of my unconscious? Are they imagined? I don’t know. They come, they interact with me, they give me peace and guidance. They empower me. As Sandra Ingerman says, the only real evidence for shamanic healing is the results it brings in ordinary reality over time.

I might say something about spirits, because it’s a strange word to people. What is a spirit? In 1961, when I was with the Conibo Indians in eastern Peru in the Amazon, I was training using ayahuasca with a shaman, and we were working with the various nature spirits every night. I worked with the anaconda spirit, the black panther spirit, the fresh-water dolphin spirit, various tree spirits, and so on. They would come, we would see them, and so on. I came to realize that anything that you see in complete darkness or with your eyes closed is technically a spirit. That makes it sound like it’s just an image in the air, but shamans find out which spirits have power and which don’t. They discover what spirits can help in what ways. It’s very important to recognize that whatever you contact in nonordinary reality is technically a spirit. It’s a spiritual reality. Michael Harner

The benefit of connectedness goes beyond spiritual and mental wellbeing. Medical evidence now shows that a feeling of connectedness is a major contributing factor in both disease prevention and recovery.

According to Dr Vijay Sharma, women who say they feel isolated are three-and-a half times as likely to die of breast, ovarian, or uterine cancer over a 17-year period.  In another study, the single most important factor in a cancer patient’s history was not exposure to a chemical, pollutant, or carcinogen, but the loss of a loved one within five years of the onset of cancer.

Men who say that their wives don’t show them love suffer 50% more angina over a five year period than those who feel their wives do. Male medical students who felt close to their parents were less likely to develop cancer or mental illness in later years.

Among heart patients, those who felt the least loved had fifty percent more arterial damage than those who felt the most loved.  That is as close a medical connection between love and heart as you can get.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another. Thomas Merton

Writing itself is a kind of connection. I had nothing when I sat down to write this. Then one idea came, and the words to connect that idea to writing, interconnecting with each other. I read other people’s words and connect to them, and then this great stream of interconnectedness pours out.

So with all the benefits of connectedness, why would we hold back from each other?

For me the fear of true authentic connection comes from the risk involved in opening my heart, in being vulnerable and reliant on other people. Risk. Vulnerability. Heart opening. Sometimes it seems like more trouble than it’s worth.

So when my love tried to hold my hand and be heartfelt with me, to tell me things I didn’t want to hear, I wanted to pull away. When the time came to sit down with my son and have a difficult conversation, I felt a huge level of anxiety about it. Even thought it was difficult, I feel a new sense of closeness with him. He seems happier knowing that I’m a solid foundational presence in his life.

That’s the thing about taking risks, we can avoid them to save ourselves pain, but we can equally be denying ourselves the richness of a life built on connection.

Tonight as I finished this post. I acknowledged this interconnectedness by performing a peace ritual. My son came out to my studio, and the dog. It was a little chaotic, but real life is like that. Messy. Imperfect. My son lit candles while I blessed the space and called in the elemental forces. We said some prayers for peace. He did his first journey. When we came back inside he checked social media and said “Mum! they’re negotiating with the gunman.” “See.” I said “Prayer works.”

When we woke up this morning two hostages and the gunman were dead, may they rest in peace. May the souls of those affected by this event be restored to peace. I still believe prayer works, but the web of life is not a simplistic thing. When you have forces running contrary to one another, prayer can uplift the energy, and transform the actions of people, but so can fear and hatred have an opposing effect.

The important element is the way in which all things are connected. Every thought and action sends shivers of energy into the world around us, which affects all creation. Perceiving the world as a web of connectedness helps us to overcome the feelings of separation that hold us back and cloud our vision. This connection with all life increases our sense of responsibility for every move, every attitude, allowing us to see clearly that each soul does indeed make a difference to the whole. Emma Restall Orr

Affirmations on connection by Louise Hay:

I am connected to all of life.

I open my heart to all of the beings on the planet.

I help create a world where it is safe for all of us to love each other.

What is true of me is true of everyone. We are all learning to look within ourselves to find the wisdom to live harmoniously.

Each person is part of the harmonious whole.

Bless!

Images:

One with nature

Ashes Snow Love

Connection

Black and white stones

Deeper Photos

Lunar Nature and the Moon

Boundless

Shell

Garnet Lake Thunderclouds

Open Mind

Too much of a good thing

E-motions are energy in motion. If they are not expressed, the energy is repressed. As energy it has to go somewhere. Emotional energy moves us, as does all energy. John Bradshaw

Yeah well, MY emotions are certainly energetic this week. I should have known, that on the week of focusing on the sacral chakra, I’d be hormonal and emotional.

I was emotional even driving to work this morning. The dog threw up on the carpet right before I had to leave home, I forgot to (a) brush my hair (b) bring a hairbrush. I limped into 7-Eleven (my foot is hurting again), after dropping my beautiful new fluorite crystal on the road when I got out of the car – it smashed to smithereens.

Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course. William Shakespeare

7-Eleven was out of hairbrushes. The girl just stood there looking vacantly at the empty drawer saying “they’re usually here.”

By this stage my emotions had reached boiling point. I limped back to the car and drove in tears, raging against all the deities I’d ever prayed to, that they were no friggin help at all. And despite realising that on the scale of world issues my hormonal morning probably rated pretty low, I was not happy with the level of service I was receiving.

Tears are a river that takes you somewhere… Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

I stopped ranting and crying when I realised the cars around me were giving me a wide berth, “stay away from the crazy/road-rage lady.”

Now let me say, there was more behind my emotionality than I have mentioned here. I am still very affected by seeing my dad so unwell lately and my relationship is… I don’t even know what it is. We are either having a break up or a break through – I’ll keep you posted as news comes to hand.

The sacral chakra is all about feelings, emotions, inhibitions, connectness with others, sexuality, sensuality, femininity – all the warm, soft and gooey stuff of life.

Our task must be to free ourselves… by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and it’s beauty. Albert Einstein

The main function of this chakra is emotional flow. The sacral chakra is located at the lower belly. Its Sanskrit name is svadhisthana, meaning sweetness. It is associated with our connection to other people, creativity, energy, confidence, and sexual health.

A person may be disconnected and cold towards others if this chakra is under-active. Or if its overactive, they may seem needy, overly emotional, and co-dependent. Yes! I realise I have an overactive sacral, I see that too, thanks for pointing it out through.

I had thought that over-active chakras were a good thing, I mean you can’t have too much of a good thing, right?

We all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Mostly I try to keep my emotions under wraps. It’s better that way, they scare people. After years of learning to ‘act better than I feel’ and ‘fake it til I make it’ and other such stoic affirmations, I now – mostly – project the demeanour of a very calm, together person. People say it to me all the time “you’re so calm.” Yeah. Except when you are behind me in traffic on a bad hormone day.

Physically, the sacral chakra governs our sexual development, our reproductive and urinary systems, including the kidneys and bladder. The sacral chakra corresponds to the ovaries and testes, the endocrine glands which regulate sexual development, reproduction, and the hormones oestrogen and progesterone.

The sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality. When the sacral chakra is open, your feelings flow freely, you can experience intimacy with others, your creativity flows, and you can express yourself without being over-emotional.

The gesture of the amorous embrace seems to fulfill, for a time, the subject’s dream of total union with the loved being… A moment of affirmation; for a certain time, though a finite one, a deranged interval, something has been successful: I have been fulfilled. Roland Barthes

According the Curative Soul common psychological symptoms of an unbalanced sacral chakra are: eating disorders, addictions, low self-confidence, dependency issues, low libido, and unbalanced emotions.

Common physical symptoms of an unbalanced sacral chakra are: kidney problems and urinary tract infections, chronic lower back pain, sexual disorders, infertility, gynecological problems, dysfunctional menstrual cycles, and problems with the intestines, spleen, and gallbladder.

A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full, strong life force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

According to Caroline Myss, “The challenge of the second chakra is to learn what motivates us to make the choices we do.” This centre governs our need to control other people. We are connected via our sacral energy to everyone and everything we want to control. In this way we both ‘invest’ our energy in the need to control others, and are affected by others who desire to control us.

All our sexual desires, memories, competition, shame, and envy are recorded in this chakra. Sexuality, power, money and creativity meld together in a melting pot of desires in this centre.

The sacral chakra energy holds the power of choice to create your own reality. The creative potentiality of the sacral chakra can be moved by trust and love or by fear and negativity. Our emotions can impact the choices we make and thus the consequences we have to deal with. Feelings of blame, shame, guilt, unattractiveness, insecurity, neediness, dependency sap our energy through this chakra.

Sacral chakra is where ideas come to be born, if our creativity is aborted the scars are recorded in this energy centre. Health issues of the reproductive organs can be as much linked to stifled creativity as to sexual memory.

Wherever thought goes, energy and life force follow. Caroline Myss writes that the second chakra gets unbalanced by stifled creative energy, money and sexual conflicts, power struggles, life energy directed into dead-end relationships or jobs, and control tactics that do not follow the spiritual rule to “Honour One Another.”

How do we disconnect our energy circuits from people or objects that sap energy? The first step is awareness. Check in often and notice where your thoughts are. Are they with you in the present, or have they drifted off to the past, the future, or with some person or object? Next, mentally cut the connection and literally call your spirit back. Calling one’s spirit back is not a one-time event; it’s a practice. Jule Klotter

The term ’empath’ seems to be a new age buzzword of the moment. It basically describes a state were folks, like me, are strongly affected by their own and other people’s emotional energy. Clarissa Pinkola Estes talks about this as a need to grow a thicker skin. Instead of walking around with our nerves jangling in the breeze, it’s important to be able to feel an appropriate and manageable level of emotions.

Caroline Myss explains that this chakra yearns for a connection with the sacred. It is a fundamental need of this chakra to have a daily nurturing rapport with the sacred.

Try this morning meditation by Caroline Myss to balance the sacral chakra.

Allow the truth ‘Honor One Another’ to penetrate your body.
Move your attention gradually up your spine to your lower back, hips and genital area.
Feel the fire and vibrant energy of this area.
Focus that energy toward the key areas of this chakra:
Relationships: Who am I going to be with today?
Work: What am I going to do today?
Money: How do I feel about it today?
Creativity: What am I going to create today?

Manifest plainness, embrace simplicity, reduce selfishness, have few desires. Lao Tzu

Deedre Diemer, in her book, The ABC of Chakra Therapy, writes that when are chakras are open and balanced, it means we have the ability to be more or less open as the situation warrants. In a room alone with our lover we may choose to be very open, not so much at work.

The chakradance of the sacral chakra is my favourite. Dancing with my hips and belly to middle-Eastern influences music, I feel this chakra flow. Using the imagery of a stream flowing through me, I can finally let go of the build up of emotion and be cleansed. I connect my the divine feminine. I become divine and glow with my sensual nature. I feel my creativity flow.

Last night I ran a bath. The sacral chakra resonates to the element of water, to the flow of water. I poured wild orange and geranium oil in, added some sea salt and let the emotional storm melt away. I asked that this excess energy flow down the drain with the water. Then I slept.

It seems to me, the name of this chakra ‘sweetness’ alludes to its proper balance. When we are sane and calm, when our emotions flow gently and appropriately, when we are neither bitter nor naive. When our desire for love and creative thirst is sensual and pleasurable, but not grasping and needy.

There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision – possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out.” Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. There may be broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Affirmations by Natalie Southgate:

I relish the sweet exchange of intimacy and connectedness.

Pleasure is a good and valuable part of my life.

I give myself permission to fully enjoy my sexuality.

I allow abundance and prosperity into my life.

I allow my emotions to flow through me in a healthy way.

I am open to experiencing the present moment through my senses.

The universe is full of sweetness and beauty.

 

 

Bless!

 

Read more at:

http://www.myss.com/library/practice/morning.asp

www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/introduction.php

http://www.chakra-anatomy.com/sacral-chakra.html

http://theresekerr.com/the-sacral-chakra-the-key-to-your-emotional-well-being/

Images:

Title image

Jiali Ji Embrace

Embrace Your Heart

The Embrace Estefan Gargost

Embrace Andrea Barbieri

 

Calling in your community

Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. Franz Kafka

The older I get the more amazed I become at how crude our attempts at communication are. And by ‘our’ I mean humans, in general. I mean, we’ve been doing this communicating thing for a long time, and yet there is still so much misunderstanding in the world. Sometimes, this is a result of blatant misinformation, say in the worst of advertising or politics, where obscuring the truth for personal, political, and monetary gain, is rife.

But what of the majority of us people, out in the world trying to be the best we can, and often finding ourselves baffled by how much people misunderstand us. Or is that just me? Please say it isn’t so!

I have often felt misunderstood by other people, when in fact, it was my communication that was not clear. A lack of clarity which seems to stem from inner confusion and lack of integrity to my truth. My communication becomes wobbly and unclear when I am internally conflicted about what I am saying.

Obviously I am a good communicator at times – hopefully you understand what you are reading right now.

For me, it is in the deeply personal, emotionally-charged issues, or in areas where I feel insecure or doubtful, that my communication wanes. It is literally as if the power goes out of my self-expression, and I am speaking in dull whispers that people just don’t hear. As such I realise the power of communicating resides in me. When my personal power, confidence, and self belief is strong, my communication is clear. When my inner energy is weak or unresolved, my communication becomes like static white noise and it is indecipherable.

I had a perfect example this week, where I felt other people had either not heard something I had expressed, or had failed to grasp its importance and consigned this – deeply precious – knowledge about me, in a file marked “extraneous stuff about…”

Fortunately I have done enough personal work in this area to no longer assign blame to the other person. I may feel hurt, that’s fair enough, then I ask myself if perhaps the communication block originates in me.

Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.William Faulkner

I think very few people are great communicators, but gee, you know it when you meet one. They clarify everything, and you just know they hear what you meant to say, and you heard what they meant to say. It’s magic. And not coincidentally, they are usually people of great integrity and clear inner vision.

We all have our programmed communication nuances, from our culture, our families, our schools, even the TV we did or did not grow up watching. Add to that issues of shyness, depression, various buried neuroses, prejudices, and shadow aspects, and whoa mama! It’s a whole melting pot of murky and mixed signals out there!

Possibly we are not clearly saying what we think we are saying, and even if we are, the other person is probably hearing what they think they are hearing, not what we are actually trying to say. Did you get that? Geez…

This is why I love the dance of the vissudha, the throat chakra. The dance of communication, self-expression, and truth. In some ways it is the chakra I have had the most powerful awakening in. As someone who would have preferred to hide from the world and its rough edges, having the dharma of a writer and teacher has not allowed that. I had to learn to communicate better.

This is a great visual and sound healing for the throat chakra. It’s quite hypnotic!

Speaking of communication, I launched my Chakradance business this week. YAY! Which consisted of me finishing my website and promoting my chakradance classes. Check it out here: http://www.rawmojo.com.au

All this is very consistent with the throat chakra, and its theme of communication. Bringing my business vision into the world happens through the gateway of communication. So I am writing, publishing and talking about my venture.

In my chakra-based business plan, I explored the throat chakra with the following themes and question:

Throat chakra – Communication – Creativity – Expression. How can I authentically express my vision?

It is becoming really clear to me that business is about two interrelated things: providing something that fulfils a need in your community, and relationships. Relationships are about communication. So the ability to communicate clearly is vital to success in life at the personal and vocational levels.

As I said before, I am seeing how vital it is to my communication that I am clear and clean about my intentions and desires with myself. When I speak from my genuine enthusiasm for Chakradance, people connect to that energy and are enthused.

To cram in as much practice for when I start Chakradance classes in a couple of weeks, I’ve been chakradancing almost every day. It’s not a chore, in fact, the more I do it, the more excited I become at the prospect of this being my service to others.

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. Buddha

My passion for Chakradance has many positive flow-on effects. This works at a number of levels. It begins with my personal practice, and the benefits I receive from Chakradance. Then, it involves me communicating this from a place of enthusiasm. I teach for the sake of enabling others to experience the joy and healing that I have.

Removing profit motives from my business vision, I focus on calling in my community. What does that mean?

The concept of calling in my community came to me as I danced the throat chakra. It feels like good old-fashioned word of mouth. I talk to and teach people, and then they talk to others about their experience, they bring their friends out of love and a desire to share something beautiful.

My insight in the dance was very strong – I must not push or force my vision into reality. I must allow this to grow at it’s own pace. People will come to classes when it is right for them. The very next day a friend messaged me to say she had booked herself and three friends into the class.

I am also beginning to see Chakradance as my main spiritual practice. I have always longed for a practice that consolidated all my disparate beliefs and rituals and techniques. Chakradance does that really well.

Its combination of Indian Vedic wisdom – which I have been drawn to since I was a child listening to the Beatles – Jungian psychology, colour, crystals, plants and flower essences, shamanic dance and vision journeying, and recognition of angels, guide and gods, and goddesses. It really has everything I have ever loved and found useful and healing for myself.

I am also seeking a clarity for my spiritual practice. For so long I have taken bits and pieces from many disciplines and traditions, but I have a strong yearning, a calling, if you will, to find a discipline I can call my own. I have the breadth, now it’s time for the depth of practice.

So I am using my chakradance practice as a kind of vision quest. I am actively asking to be shown my spiritual path, and I am receiving lots of visions.

After last week’s vision in the third eye meditation class, I have been very aware of archetypal images cropping up in my life.

After I asked for this guidance, for 3 days straight I kept seeing a business van with the name ‘Celtic’ painted on it. I literally saw it twice a day, going to and from work, in different streets each time. It was not until I said aloud “okay, I get it, Celtic” That I stopped seeing it.

My visions in the past around the throat chakra have been three women in robes chanting, and three pillars or columns.

This week I have been seeing these images a lot. As is always the case when archetypal images emerge. Like the Celtic van, suddenly they are everywhere. It makes sense to me, since the brain functions as a filter to information – so we literally only see a small percentage of the stimulus around us.

Yet when our subconscious is speaking to us – especially when we have expressed a conscious desire for that to happen – these archetypal images are registered in our mind, and become like a constantly beating drum, reminding us of some vital information our subconscious wants us to have.

I discovered Artemis is associated with three pillars. Three pillars – representing the triple Great Goddess – maiden, mother, crone, and the phases of the moon. She was also a virgin goddess, which ties in nicely with the theme of purity, associated with the throat chakra.

As a read more about shamanic practice, I have a feeling that much of this information that comes from our subconscious is retrieved  at a level our conscious mind doesn’t comprehend. So even though these images may seem disparate and meaningless to my mind, that doesn’t mean they are. It may be information that is being stored and will become meaningful to me at some future time. The famous ‘AHA!’ moment.

Myth is much more important and true than history. History is just journalism and you know how reliable that is. Joseph Campbell

Vissudha, the sanskrit works for the chakra literally means purification.

In the throat chakradance, we chant and sing to cleanse the throat chakra, and enhance our ability for self-expression.

Recently, I have been investigating the interplay between the chakras and the endocrine system. Whilst some of the connections seem a little nebulous, the link between the throat chakra and the thyroid glands is quite established.

The thyroid gland is located in the lower neck, and helps to regulate the metabolism.

An overactive thyroid, or hyperthyroidism, is caused by an overproduction of thyroid hormones. Hypothyroidism, or underactive thyroid, occurs when the thyroid gland does not produce enough hormones. Both conditions have serious health implications.

According to Anodea Judith, when issues of self‑expression and communication cause the throat chakra to be imbalanced, thyroid problems can result.

Triggers as subtle as noise pollution, criticism, an environment of dishonesty, and stifled creativity can cause imbalance in this chakra.

Just as the thyroid assists in physical metabolism, the throat chakra metabolizes and moves energy between all the chakras.

Tracey LeBeau says the signs of imbalances in the Throat Chakra are – depending on whether the chakra is over-active or under-active – are either talking too much, or not speaking up. So either listening more, to sounds that soothe this chakra, or speaking up more, sometimes by practicing difficult conversations aloud, will help realign this chakra.

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud. Coco Chanel

Chanting and humming, listening to vibrational sounds are among the best ways to clear and balance this chakra.

This is another beautiful meditation to clear away chakra blockages. I suggest just listening to it with your eyes closed, it’s not very visually exciting!

Enjoy exploring this chakra with colour and crystals too. Anything in the light to mid-blue range will resonate with the throat chakra. Wear a bright blue scarf. And get outside under that blue sky, imagine your vissudha expanding to the far reaches of the sky, resonating with the blue light of purity, harmony, truth and creativity.

Affirmations on the throat chakra by Chakradance founder Natalie Southgate:

“I can speak freely”

“What I say has value”

“I can express myself”

“I am heard.”

“Creativity flows through me.”

“It is my essence to create.”

“When I listen I hear the truth.”

“I am able to speak to others clearly and eloquently.”

“It is good, right, and safe for me to express my true essence.”

“My truth is necessary.”

“I allow my essence to express itself in my life.”

 

Bless!

 

Sources:

Stressed Thyroid Glands and Yoga

The Throat Chakra and the Body

 

Title Image: Throat Chakra Vissudha by Rebelbam

Blue Lady

Vissudha

Light Blue Lady

Lettera Amorosa by Georges Braque

Blue Mandala

 

Slow down, live better

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Ferris Bueller

Slow food, slow business, slow cities, slow travel, and slow sex, it seems like everyone is trying to go slow. ‘Go slow to go fast’ is the new mantra – whatever that actually means. (Don’t think about it too much, it will make your head hurt, like a buddhist koan.)

My boyfriend thinks the slow movement is hilarious. He thinks the proponents of ‘slow’ all sound like we are lauding our mental deficits as something to aspire to.

All jokes aside, the slow movement does sound somewhat of an anathema to the usual ideal of striving harder, faster, better. But I don’t think it has to be.

There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mohandas K. Gandhi

According to Wikipedia, The Slow Movement advocates ways to slow down the pace of life. It all started with the Slow Food movement, initiated by Carlo Petrini’s protest against the opening of a McDonald’s in Rome’s Piazza di Spagna, in 1986, and has spread to concepts as broad as medicine, schooling, science, and travel.

In 1999, The World Institute of Slowness – created by Geir Berthelsen – presented a vision for an entire ‘Slow Planet’. Carl Honoré’s book, In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed, coined the phrase ‘Slow Movement’ and investigated how the Slow philosophy might be applied in all fields of human endeavour.

It is a cultural revolution against the notion that faster is always better. The Slow philosophy is not about doing everything at a snail’s pace. It’s about seeking to do everything at the right speed. Savoring the hours and minutes rather than just counting them. Doing everything as well as possible, instead of as fast as possible. It’s about quality over quantity in everything from work to food to parenting. Carl Honore

Carl Honore cites the trends towards speed meditation, speed yoga, speed dating, and speed sex, as examples of things that there are good reason for taking time over. If you can’t spare time for relaxation, relationships, and enjoyment, maybe the problem is not that it takes too long, but that your work-life balance is out of whack.

But it’s also about taking ourselves less seriously, The International Institute of Not Doing Much (IINDM) is a humorous approach to the slow themes of addressing the modern ills of time poverty, incivility, compassion fatigue, and workaholism.

Carl Honore sums ‘slow’ up beautifully in his TED talk:

 

The best things in life aren’t things. Art Buchwald 

The Slow Movement is similar to the concept of voluntary simplicity. The idea that by scaling back our pursuit of material goals, particularly rampant consumerism, we can achieve self-fulfilment.

These are not just lofty goals, Abraham Maslow believed that once we have fulfilled our physical needs, we begin to evolve towards self-realisation and true fulfilment as human beings. But how can we evolve beyond the material if we always think we need to chase more stuff?

If we can accept a simpler lifestyle, we can begin to focus our attention and energy on developing our selves, our gifts and skills to contribute to the world.

We can become cultures of people living to our fullest potential and not draining our life force away chasing the ever-elusive dollar, without real meaning or purpose in our lives.

Not to mention, protecting our natural environment through responsible use of resources. Slow living is sustainable living.

I have been thinking a lot about slowness in the last few weeks, ever since I went to the launch of the Slow School of Business.

The Slow School of Business (Slow School) is inspired by the Slow Food movement. Founder Carolyn Tate believes business can be done better using the slow model, driven by purpose and collaboration, not profit.

Workshops and dinners at the school focus more on emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing, creating an environment of deep connections and collaboration, where like-minded professionals are encouraged to share problems and solutions.

These are the soft skills vital for the hard task of building a sustainable business with purpose and vision. Carolyn Tate

So what is the meaning of slow?

Slow: unhurried, leisurely, measured, moderate, deliberate, steady, sedate, slow-moving, slow-going, easy, relaxed, unrushed, gentle, undemanding, comfortable. Merriam Webster Dictionary

Slowness, but not stopped-ness. Moving with purpose, at times stopping, at times moving faster, if called for, but not racing through just to get to the other side. Like the proverbial chicken crossing the road.

Recently, I feel that I’m being forced to slow down. All aspects of my life – business, work, family, love – seem to be encountering obstacles that are a counter-force to my usual bull-at-a-gate approach to life.

And why would we want to slow down?

Slow is about doing the things we do for the sake of savouring the experience, not just as a expedient means to an end. It’s easy to get so super-efficient that we forget we are supposed to be living life, not doing it.

There’s more to experience than ticking the boxes on our to-do list every day. Behaving with passion, purpose, and presence, is both invigorating to us, and to the activities and relationships we engage in.

When you feel tired all the time and like you’re just going through the motions, getting through the many things on your To-Do list but not engaging with them deeply or enjoying them very much. You don’t remember things as vividly when you rush through them. You feel like you’re racing through your life instead of actually living it. Carl Honore

In this month’s Slow Magazine, alongside my friend, Carolyn Tate’s fabulous interview about the Slow school of business, I discovered this amazing Japanese artist, Motoi Yamamoto, whose work features throughout this blog post.

Motoi Yamamoto has used salt as his primary medium since the death of his sister to brain cancer 12 years ago. Salt is traditionally used in Japanese culture, specifically the Shinto religion, to purify. In Shinto, piles of salt outside houses are traditionally used to placate and clear away spirits, and protect the house from the energy associated with death and grieving. Yamamoto further believes that ‘salt has a force to heal grief.’

Sometimes I think there are only two instructions we need to follow to develop and deepen our spiritual life: slow down and let go. Oriah Mountain Dreamer

His work is reminiscent of the sand mandalas of the Tibetan monks, after spending hundreds of hours creating his pieces, they become interactive, with the public walking, touching, and playing with them. As such they are a symbol of impermanence.

 

Death has a way of reminding us of the finite nature of life. I realise I tend to hold life at arm’s length, waiting for the time I am ready to let it in. When I’m fitter, slimmer, more together, when my house is tidier, when I’ve done my tax, and finished my Chakradance space.

When I have life sorted and all my ducks in row – then I can slow down and enjoy the moment. But that time never comes.

Slow to me, also means letting life be messy and imperfect, and yet savouring it just as it is.

I have noticed in myself, a dogged attachment to my never-ending to-do list, ‘I just must get this and that done.’ And not really paying attention to present moment, to what’s really important.

When I fully enter time’s swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. Ann Voskamp

Yesterday, I shelved my to-do list and had an impromptu day with a couple of lovely girlfriends. These times enrich my soul. Deep conversations about friendships, relationships, business, death, and ageing. Exploring the concept of becoming crones or wise elder women.

It was the perfect example of what happens when I slow down.

Nothing in life is as important as you think it is, while you are thinking about it. Daniel Kahneman

It’s easy to avoid the stickiness of life when you skate over the surface. Slowness involves the intention to be fully present at each moment with attentiveness to our inner world and our intimate connection with others. Deep conversations can be uncomfortable, difficult, challenging. This is not small talk and automatic responses. We are not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

A helpful analogy for this could be water skiing versus scuba-diving as a way to experience water. Water skiing is a super-fun and fast way to glide over water, yet by scuba diving we experience all that is beautiful beneath the surface.

It’s not that fast and exciting is wrong, it’s just it shouldn’t encompass our whole lives. We should be able to choose the fast and fun activities and the slow and meaningful ones.

Our minds and bodies need down-time to recuperate, to be creative, to heal themselves. Our lives should have a varied pace. The natural ebb and flow. Connectness and conscious decision-making should be valued above expediency.

People who are cognitively busy are also more likely to make selfish choices, use sexist language, and make superficial judgments in social situations. Daniel Kahneman

Based on all this contemplation of the slow, and after some inspiring conversations at the Slow School Of Business, I decided to rejig my business plan, based on the seven chakras.

The chakras have proven to be a reliable system for me, addressing all aspects of living from a physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual perspective.

I have already written about the fabulous book, Creating on Purpose: The Spiritual Technology of Manifesting Through the Chakras by Anodea Judith and Lion Goodman, which uses the chakras as a system for manifesting. It’s a great method of using the chakras as a framework, both energetically and practically, for creating things.

In this framework you work from the top chakra down, starting with the creative spark and finishing with the substantial results at the base chakra. It goes something like this. (And it’s a work in progress, I might add, this is just the beginning. But y’know, I’m taking it slow.)

Crown chakra- Inspiration – Divine vision – Creative spark

Why do I feel inspired to teach Chakradance?

The inspiration for teaching Chakradance comes from my broader sense of the meaning of life. To know ourselves, to know our gifts, and share gifts and ourselves for benefit of humanity – whether that is family friends, community, or the broader world.

Chakradance has allowed me to explore this inner journey and I want to teach others this technique of journeying within.

Third eye chakra– Vision – Insight – Imagination – Intuition – Focus on the big picture

What vision, insight or intuition do I bring to this endeavour?

My life experiences, my journey into Chakradance, self-exploration, and healing.

Throat chakra– Communication – Creativity – Expression

How can I authentically express my vision?

Writing, talking, collaborating with others gives opportunities to share my vision.

Heart chakra– Connection with others – Service to others – Courage – Co-creation

How can I co-create this vision with others?

Share my vision wholeheartedly with people I meet. Ask potential customers what they need, what are they searching for in their lives. Look to collaborate with other service providers to create easy, one-stop shops for customers.

Solar plexus chakra– Purpose – Life force – Confidence

How can I be confident in planning this vision?

Know my stuff, research other like-minded businesses, planning and preparation, prepare space. Slow down, allow things to unfold without excess force or impatience.

Sacral chakra – Pleasure – Community – Flow

How can I make this an enjoyable experience for others?

Venue, ambience, good sound system, great space, welcoming, sense of community and connection with others. Fun!

Base chakra – Structure – Foundations – Stability – Money and financial security

Good systems, website, booking system, class timetable, structured pricing, clear expectations of the class, and deliver what I promise, when I promise.

Focusing on the chakras, bringing my focus inward, allows me to honour all aspects of my being in my business vision. I begin with the intention of honouring my gifts, experience and authenticity, away from concepts of competition and generic marketing models.

I think there is a good chance if I create something I love, others will love it to. It’s a holistic vision for business as an extension of me and my life.

Slow living is all about balance, remembering that there are times for expedience and times for reflection, appreciation, and connection with the moment.

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. Eddie Cantor

Affirmations for slowing down (adapted from personaldevelopmentwisdom.com):

I slow down and I practice being patient.

I trust life. I slow down. I relax. I let go.

I live life at a comfortable pace.

I schedule time to rest, reflect, and recover from the events of the day.

I live my life in a stride that supports me – both mentally and physically.

I am worth the effort it takes to establish and maintain a comfortable pace to my life.

Bless!

 

And a spot of Beck, just because it’s the best slow music ever.

 

Images:

Motoi Yamamoto

 

Further reading:

The Slow School of Business (classes now open for bookings)

Slow magazine

The World Institute of Slowness

International Institute of Not Doing Much

The Slow Movement

In Praise of Slowness

Chakradance

Circles within circles

Illustration of Nahima
http://nahimart.blogspot.it/

Life is a full circle, widening until it joins the circle motions of the infinite. Anaïs Nin

Finally, after months of preparation and practice, I delivered my first (practice) Chakradance class on Saturday. The lead-up was predictably nerve-wracking – between preparation for the class itself and filming it for assessment.

I had started out with 10 dancers coming, but by that morning, in the midst of a flu-ridden Melbourne winter, I wasn’t even sure I would make my quota of three dancers. I was concerned about the technology, as I had to film the class – under stringent conditions – for my teacher to assess.

Entering an old and familiar state of panic, my overriding thought was “I can’t do this.” What started as a plaintive cry ended up sounding like a high pitched siren going off in my head.

I tried all my usual calming tricks and tools: meditation, essential oils, running, energy work. They all helped temporarily but then I found myself back in the morass of anxiety.

My reiki meditation class, the week before, were given the mantra ‘I can and I am’ for the solar plexus chakra. So I repeated these affirmations and they helped. After all, it was true, despite all my fear I WAS doing it. It was happening. And I was BEING amongst all the doing, and the happening…

When success comes into our lives it often highlights our negative thinking, as we stress about everything but fail to see beauty in how effortlessly it is unfolding. And as success creates its own challenges, it is easy to fall into the trap of constantly worrying about the ‘next thing.’

I had to remind myself that everything was actually alright. When I had decided to do the Chakradance course – with no money to pay for it – the money had come through crowd funding, quite effortlessly. My friend had offered a space to hold the class, despite my fears that no one would turn up, I had the required numbers.

Technology is always an unknown, in my day job I run events regularly and no matter how many times you check and recheck, there is always the possibility of something going wrong.

And that’s life, full of unforeseen variables.

Despite this sensible rationale, the stress continued to accumulate in my neck and shoulders, so I went to see my kinesiologist/chiropractor. He treated me, and listened to my body, and we talked through my fears.

What was coming up for me was a number of old emotional patterns, both my own and ancestral, which were blocking me from expressing myself. The torque between these emotional blocks and my attempts to encourage self-expression through Chakradance had manifested as anxiety and bodily tension.

It was an inner war between the old and the new, the inner and the outer.

There was an old feeling in me of being ‘set up’ for a massive fall. Even of divine trickery, that somehow the the universe was conspiring to make me feel like all my dreams were coming true, luring me into a false sense of security, just to snatch success out from under me at the crucial moment. The moment most likely to cause total humiliation and annihilation of self.

I’m wondering where I learned this rather pessimistic perception of the gods as vengeful, petulant, and conniving? Probably from the Greek tragedies.

You know how the story goes, the hero or heroine, mighty and strong, is brought down by their own pride in their capabilities. The gods could not allow such hubris. I was raised on that stuff, pride always comes before a fall, tall poppies get their pretty flowered heads lopped off…

Old ideas that are embedded deep in my psyche.

My earliest experience of going out into the world, as an independent young woman at 18, brimming with lofty ideals and dreams, ends with me falling down the metaphorical rabbit hole. It took me a long time and a lot of work to climb back out of that hole. Part of my psyche is dedicatedly risk-averse, based solely on the memory of that hole.

And yet, Hugh says to me, that was then, this is now. I can trust myself now. I can express myself now.

He insisted that this was a healing experience for me, to face this fear and break this ancestral cycle of repression.

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. Albert Einstein

Chakradance encourages me to bring in my unique brand of light, and facilitate others’ journey of self-discovery. As such it is the perfect expression of my gentle power – holding, radiating, not forcing. Holding the integrity of the sacred space to allow others to experience the light that comes from within, to illuminate the self.

Being a chakradance facilitator is primarily about creating and holding the sacred space, the sacred circle. For the dancers to feel safe enough to close their eyes and let go into their inner dance, the facilitator must bring a sense of calm and safety.

There must also be the sense that the circle somehow transcends everyday reality, that in this space, access to the spirit, the divine, the collective unconscious, to the deepest and highest parts of self, is sought.

Humans have traditionally used the circle as a space for sacred ritual – the circle being an ancient symbol, an archetypal container for inviting in the divine.

Stone circle sites such as Stonehenge have been found the world over. There is the infinitely circular nature of Celtic knot-work, and Mandala circles in the Buddhist and Hindu traditions. Native American culture creates medicine wheels, and the Bora rings feature in Australian indigenous practice.

Circles are a sacred symbol found in all cultures. Which by Jung’s definition makes them part of the collective unconsciousness – the collective wisdom we all tap into subconsciously and bring into our conscious lives.

All these sacred circles, despite variations in their techniques, have in common that they exist at a conceptual as well as physical level, they can be used as a sacred space, an aid to meditation, an altar, a centering device for one’s consciousness, a protector, and a framework in which to honour the forces of nature and the levels of being.

The circle is infinite, without beginning or end, in perfect symmetry, completely contained. The ritual circle allows for a group of people to stand facing one another, and the centre. The circle symbolically can represent the earth, the sun, the moon, and the womb. All that is, all that will be.

The eye is the first circle; the horizon which it forms is the second; and throughout nature this primary picture is repeated without end. It is the highest emblem in the cipher of the world. St. Augustine described the nature of God as a circle whose centre was everywhere and its circumference nowhere. We are all our lifetime reading the copious sense of this first of forms. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chakradance draws on the wisdom of Jungian Psychology, recognising the power of creating a container or space to hold the experience of the dance. Chakradance is a dance for healing and self-discovery. By going within and dancing through each of our chakra centres, and staying present in what we find or experience, each dance gives rise to different insights and feelings.

After the dance, the creation of personal mandala art is a way of anchoring our experiences back into our conscious world.

We create a mandala art so that we can reflect on, and express, our experiences of the dance. The circle both contains our experience and holds a healing power. The images we draw can be literal or symbolic. In the dance, it is possible to see actual images in your mind’s eye, or the mandala may represent a feeling or an insight you had in colours, shapes, or images. Creating a mandala is an intuitive and spontaneous process. It is important to just let it unfold, without judgement or criticism.

After the practice dance on Saturday, the participants had a discussion about their mandala art and what the images meant. They asked me what a mandala was, what was it for?

I realised I had very little knowledge beyond my personal experience in Chakradance, and I was extremely grateful that my friend Margi was on hand. Margi has been creating mandalas for 20 years and the majority of the mandala images in this blog post are her beautiful work.

Mandala art has been used throughout the world for self-expression, spiritual transformation, and personal growth. Mandala is the ancient Sanskrit word for circle and is seen by Tibetans as a diagram of the cosmos. It is used by Native Americans in healing rituals and in Christian cathedrals. The labyrinth is a mandalic pattern used as a tool for meditation. An archetypal symbol of wholeness, the mandala was used as a therapeutic art tool by psychologist Carl Jung, who believed creating mandalas helped patients to make the unconscious conscious. Bailey Cunningham

The mandala, at its very simplest, is a circle with a centre, a form that is ancient, and is found everywhere in nature. Just think of a flower with its petals circumnavigating the centre.

Mandala is Sanskrit for ‘whole world’ or ‘healing circle’ writes Clare Goodwin, and describes it as a representation of the universe and everything in it. Khyil-khor is the Tibetan word for mandala and means “centre of the Universe in which a fully awakened being abides.”

Mandala artist and writer, Margi Gibb says, a mandala is a sacred space revealing inner truth about the self. In Sanskrit mandala also means both ‘circle’ and ‘centre’, implying that it represents both the visible world outside of us and the invisible one deep within us.

From Native American and Tibetan sand-paintings to Gothic rose windows and Hindu yantras, mandalas are used as symbols for meditation, protection and healing. 
Clare Goodwin 

Carl Jung saw mandalas as basic patterns for the Self, that explored the ideals of formation, transformation, and re-creation. The centre of the circle is the point towards which everything is directed. He discovered that while our consciousness lives in the outer circle, the centre of the mandala is what captures our attention as we seek oneness with the Self, with the universe.

The centre of a mandala is where the divine resides, and where we turn inwards and towards, as we seek this individuation of self. The unity of the unconscious and conscious selves. Our inner and outer worlds.

When I began drawing the mandalas, I saw that everything, all the paths I had been following, all the steps I had taken, were leading back to a single point – namely to the mid-point. Carl Jung

Jung used mandalas as a psychological tool for himself and his patients. The mandala captures inner images, creating a visual reflection of a state of self as it exists in a particular point in time. Jung found the creation of mandalas assisted us see the true state of our inner being.

Jung discovered mandalas when he began drawing his innermost feelings in a journal each day and noticed that many of his drawings featured circles. Understanding Indian cultural traditions as he did, he recognised the symbolism of the circle in his drawing and called them mandalas. He saw these drawings as a snapshot of his innermost self at a particular point in time.

I sketched every morning in a notebook a small circular drawing,…which seemed to correspond to my inner situation at the time….Only gradually did I discover what the mandala really is:…the Self, the wholeness of the personality, which if all goes well is harmonious. Carl Jung

As Jung discovered, the regular drawing of mandalas chronicles our inner journey. In Chakradance I have been creating mandalas for over a year now. And during the facilitator course I created 9 mandalas in 7 weeks. In the last week of the integration Chakradance I sat with my mandalas around me in a circle. The power was palpable.

Jung was right, these images had captured moments in my psyche. I could see where I had been journeying in my base chakra, how there was fear surrounding the darkness of going within, then a beautiful communion with the earth. I saw the dances of the sacral and solar plexus chakras and how they led me to release some old patterns and pain from my childhood. And so on.

It was a remarkable reflection of a journey within. And that’s just skimming the surface of the revelations they have brought me. I realised creating the mandala is one aspect, and meditating on them is another aspect of this profound practice.

I saw that . . .one could not go beyond the center.  The center is the goal, and everything is directed toward that center. Through this dream I understood that the self is the . . . archetype of orientation and meaning.  Therein lies its healing function. Carl Jung

How to Meditate on a Mandala (from Anne Lupton’s website Meaning of Mandalas)

To prepare yourself for your time of meditation, clear away a quiet place where you can sit with your mandala at eye level opposite yourself. Be as comfortable as you can be in the seating position you choose. If you like, you can even create an altar on which to place your mandala. This altar may or may not include objects reflecting spirituality, purity, peace and grace to complement the meaning behind the mandala you choose.

Tibetan tradition shows us the outer rings of the mandala represent fire that will purify an individual as they ready the journey of entering into the mandala itself. This is the point of entry for your meditation. The path will lead you inward to the center. Concentrate and focus on the shapes and colors and let the design and beauty sink into your being. Follow each circle inward and if you run into a dead end, just remember that not only do you want to reach the centre but the meditation is also about the travel to enlightenment.

As you travel, become one with the universe and its wisdom. Breathe slowly in through the nose and exhale lightly through the nose. Concentrate on the rhythm of your body as it matches the rhythm in the circle with eyes open or closed. You also have an option to play soothing music as you meditate. Become aware of where you have been, where you are now and where you are going. You can partake of this practice for 15-30 minutes.

You may find yourself inhibited or energized by the energy of the mandala. This sacred object you will find is not an ending but a beginning as you experience the life within yourself and the sacred. Become one through the quiet, still, and calm as you let the stress of the outside world wither away into nothing. Tranquil enlightenment can be yours.

I knew that in finding the mandala as an expression of the self I had attained what was for me the ultimate. Carl Jung

So when we create a mandala art after dancing through the chakras, we capture our inner sacred space in the circle on the page. The physical circle – within which we dance – contains our circle of inner selves, which we then capture in our mandalas. Circles within circles.

Affirmations on circle of life: (adapted from the Circle of Life Affirmation Meditation)

I am important and of intrinsic and infinite value.

I am someone who is in charge of my own life, my thoughts and choices… All are mine.

I am exactly as I am meant to be, and I am perfectly on the journey I set out for.

I matter, I make a difference, and I do make things better, for everyone who loves me.

Every act of my kindness ripples throughout the universe.

Every generosity changes the world.

I recognise my contributions, the gifts I share of myself, and their resonance.

I see my connection in the circle of life that is the universe, the circle of life that is me.

I affirm my place,my belonging and my eternal energy…

Bless!

Images:

Title: Goddess Mandala by Nahimaart

Practise – Mandalas from the Journey Series by Margi Gibb

Margi Gibb has been practicing as a Mandala artist for over 20 years. She holds a Masters Degree in Education; Experiential Learning and Development and published her thesis on`The Mandala and its Application in the 21st Century` She has studied and trained with America’s foremost Mandala artists, authors and educators; Judith Cornell Ph D and Bailey Cunningham, Executive Director of the Mandala project. She facilitates workshops for many diverse communities and is currently published in, “Mandala Journey to the Center.”

Margi is currently finalising her Doctoral thesis on the role of creativity in the process of individuation, entitled ‘The Call to Individuation: Spirituality and Creative Practice.’

See more of her work on her website:

http://www.mandalaprimitivepop.com

Sources:

http://www.mandalaprimitivepop.com

http://www.meaningofmandalas.com/jungian-symbols

http://www.abgoodwin.com/mandala/index.php/blog/60-blog-sidebar/52-meeting-the-mandala

Jung, C. G., Memories, dreams, reflections.  Knopf, 1989.

Dahlke, R., Mandalas of the world: a meditating and painting guide. Sterling Pub. Co., 1992.

Taking it out into the world

All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost. J.R.R. Tolkien

There’s been a lot on inner work going on for me lately: chakra healing, shamanic soul retrieval, and of course, chakradancing. Now it seems it’s time to take this inner journey out to the world, to share this gift with others. And I have to say, I am feeling a little scared. It’s all very well to dance around my loungeroom, but now I’m going to put myself out there and guide others through the journey of Chakradance. Am I up for this? Am I ready? Will I do it ‘right’?

Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate. Thomas Aquinas

Last week I went and danced with a dear friend. She’s been having some health problems and so we focused on the solar plexus chakra: the seat of personal power. I know that sounds a little Tony Robbins, but the power here is akin to the flow of electricity. If our solar plexus is compromised, for example, by us giving away our power through dynamics of low self-esteem and approval seeking, we can become very depleted in this area. As a result our whole system suffers as this inner ‘fire’ of digestion, metabolism and empowerment dwindles.

One of the greatest losses of energy in this chakra comes from ignoring our intuition. We all have intuition, it is an innate gift, the issue is when we don’t listen to it. We suppress it, deny it, argue with it, throw fearful thoughts at it, and this all takes a lot of energy.

Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey. John O’Donohue

Caroline Myss talks about how we have misunderstood and mis-used the notion of creating our own reality, applying this force at the level of the material and the personality (romance, power, prestige) but that is not really the truth. The reality we create is at an energetic level, in our thoughts, and where we, consciously or unconsciously, direct our energy. This concept needs to be applied it to the management of our spiritual energy, and of our energy output.

Where does your energy go? Have you ever considered this? Not just physically but emotionally, via your thoughts. Do you harbour resentments, fears, old hurts? This is the great responsibility of the human life – conscious management of our power. The chakra system is a blueprint of the management of our spiritual energy, according to Myss.

Last week my lover gave me a rune reading. It was a beautiful process, and as with tarot, can be used as a form of divination alongside therapeutic counselling, to uncover blocks and issues in the querent’s life.

The runes are the traditional writing, magical and divination symbols of the ancient Germanic peoples, which effectively covers most of Northern Europe. Specific symbols carved in wood, or representations of these symbols on cards similar to tarot, are used in a traditional formation representing the realms in Norse mythology. There is an apparent correlation between these realms and the essence of the seven chakras as explored in this article by Magin Rose.

The reading was in response to a query I had about Chakradance. I had felt that just as I was beginning to bring my business into the ‘real’ material world of people, there was a major block occurring. People get very excited by ideas, but when it comes down to actually committing to a physical place and time, would they do it? Would anyone actually come to my classes?

The runes selected were highly favourable, suggesting I have the favour of the gods as what I am offering is of value, and with a recurring theme of sea-faring. I saw the analogy that my business, my chakradance craft, is like a boat, a beautiful boat, but one that has never been on the sea, is it actually sea worthy?

The only solution was some good old-fashioned business planning. Planning is something I often see as boring and restrictive, yet seeing the creativity as I write my business plan, the ideas flowing of how to launch my business, how I want my space to look, are actually really exciting. And it’s real.

We all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us. We respond before we know how to speak the language, before we know all the answers, and before we know exactly to whom we are speaking. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Come to think of it, it’s not that planning is boring, it’s actually scary. My usual modus operandi is ‘fly by the seat of my pants’.

Yes, that is a kind of intuitive living, but I think you can be intuitive and conscious of your decision-making and the direction it’s taking you. I traditionally make what seems like a great decision at the time, with no real thought as to how to measure if it actually is a good decision, and if so, how I will know that going forward. And when fear and doubt creep in, as they always do, I’m lost at sea with no compass, asking myself plaintively, ‘are you sure this is what you want?”

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavour. Henry David Thoreau

This week several synchronous articles have crossed my path, as I started to realise I needed more of a plan around my business, a friend’s new business was launched, with this wonderful article on why planning really helps calm the anxiety of launching a business – read it here at Confetti Design, and I received an email from Doreen Virtue about planning a spiritual business.

Johannah Chilcott, from Confetti Design, writes that there are three steps to keeping your head when starting a new business: building a solid foundation through research and planning, reducing objectives into micro-tasks to get things done without stress, and creating strategies for support, mentorship, and stress management techniques. It’s a very sensible approach, far less angst-ridden than my ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ no-planning-plan.

After the rune reading, and these gems of wisdom that have arrived in my inbox this week, the recurring message is that I need to plan, not because anything will necessarily go wrong, but because I will go into self-doubt, and a solid plan will remind me that I have prepared my boat for the ocean, I am sea-worthy. It will remind me of the reasons I embarked on this journey, and the solid ground behind and in front of me.

Probably the most important part of manifesting my intentions is right here, this giving birth to them in the physical world, not shying away from physical limitations and obstacles, seeing this as part of the richness of what I am doing, breaking through old barriers of self-doubt and self-sabotage.

Success in any endeavour depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self. Ralph Marsten

I previously wrote about the book Creating on Purpose: The Spiritual Technology of Manifesting Through the Chakras by Lion Goodman and Anodea Judith in an old post here.

The jist of Creating on Purpose is that all creation is co-creation between energy forces which are always at work, and through awareness and energetic healing we can become a clear ‘bridge’ for these forces to flow through, and we can quite literally use our consciousness to change the world.

 You have the ability to draw down your own vision of what you want to create in your life and to manifest it here in the physical world. Your soul has a purpose for being here. Lion Goodman and Anodea Judith

The ancient vedic texts called the upward journey of energy throughout the chakras mukti, or freedom; Anodea calls it the ‘current of liberation’. This current enables you to liberate yourself from limitations and attachments. It is the commonly conceptualised path of enlightenment by ascending from the lower chakras through to the crown chakra.

Less understood is the downward path, which the ancient masters called bhukti meaning “enjoyment”. The descending current of bhukti is the process by which consciousness densifies into physical form. In its simplest form this can be thought of as the process used in any body movement. When you walk your consciousness tells your brain to instruct your body to walk, this thought travels via energy signals to the nerves in your legs, where it manifests physically as you walking.

This downward path of energy through the chakras is the process of manifestation, where ideas and intentions catalyse and are transformed into physical reality. This process begins at the seventh chakra at the crown and moves down to the base or first chakra.

But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision. Paulo Coelho

In Creating on Purpose, Anodea and Lion outline seven manifestation principles, which describe how the seven chakras are involved in various stages of manifestation. Lion is very clear that this is not about sitting still and manifesting abundance, this is co-creation between our energetic and physical forms which requires action.

For an intention to manifest there has to be an idea in your consciousness (7th chakra) you visualise it, including looking at all kind of related things and letting your imagination play with the idea (6th chakra), you communicate with people who can be helpful and talk about it (5th chakra), you ensure right relationships around this intention (4th chakra), you create action plans (3rd chakra), you infuse your intention with passion (2nd chakra) and you actualise the intention in the physical world (1st chakra).

The other process is dealing with resistance. Like my aforementioned reaction to putting myself out there, it is natural to experience resistance to any new intention or action. You need to identify and remove these obstacles and unblock your chakras to allow the current to flow freely.

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. Albert Einstein 

Creating and holding a vision for our endeavours does not mean being attached to perfect outcomes, more it is a compass to hold and refer to when the sun clouds over and the seas get rocky. It is a vision of the direction we saw from the high vantage point on the coast before we set sail, and once we found ourselves out at sea, we can refer to that vision for guidance, inspiration, direction and courage.

Affirmations for starting your own business by Che Garman:

What I offer through my company has tremendous value.

My work is a labour of love.

I effortlessly channel my energy into working on my business.

I easily get the funds I need to help grow my business.

I believe in myself and in my company.

I build my business with understanding and dedication.

I contribute to the lives of others through the services I provide.

People are extremely eager to engage my services.

My chosen lifework is fulfilling and lucrative.

My company makes a positive difference in the world.

My business instincts are well-tuned.

My business is constantly growing and prospering.

My business is flourishing!

 

Bless!

 

Image:

http://wildlyfreewoman.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/creative-dance.jpg

http://witchblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/wood-runes2.jpg

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/03/ce/7d/5f/seaworthy-gallery.jpg

http://s90.mindvalley.us/learnmanifesting/media/images/blog-post-9-1-original-lm.png

Stuck in the middle with you

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you. Stealers Wheel

It may have appeared in my last post that I am a mirror-gazing, Louise Hay enthusiast. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except it’s not really true. So I would like to clarify a few things. One, I don’t do affirmations into the mirror, it doesn’t work for me, so I don’t do it. Two, I admire Louise Hay immensely for her tireless healing work, and I use many of her affirmations, but mostly reading her book “Heal your Life” just propelled me off into my own self-discovery around being comfortable in my own skin. I don’t pretend to be a Louise Hay expert, so please don’t expect me to be one.

Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile. Mark Twain

Many years ago a wise woman told me that in examining all of the many approaches to living life, I should take what I like and leave the rest. It’s another way of saying live and let live. It also encourages me to keep an open mind, try new things for myself and make my own decisions about what works for me – as I encourage you, dear reader, to do. Don’t take my word for it, find your own medicine.

Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. Randall Munroe

The first quote is from a song I used to listen to in my days of monopolising the jukebox at my local pub. I still love this song, with it’s classic ‘how did I get here?’ and ‘now what?’ sentiment. It also makes me think of my journey into self-acceptance. As I said it didn’t come from mirror gazing – although if yours does, bless you and no judgement here – mine was more from a rude awakening that “holy shit, I’m stuck here in the middle of this body for a whole lifetime, now what?”

Sometimes – actually most of the time – the human race just baffles me. I have to actively entice myself to engage with the world en masse, my personality and preference is to withdraw. Living in a cave sounds really appealing sometimes.

So then, the relationship of self to other is the complete realization that loving yourself is impossible without loving everything defined as other than yourself. Alan Wilson Watts

Connecting with others is very much related to the second chakra, which is the chakra I am exploring in Chakradance this week. The second chakra governs our senses, our emotions, giving and receiving nurture, as well as our creativity, sexuality, and relationship to money.

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. African Proverb

My introspective personality tends to rumination. Introspection is helpful at times. I guess, for me, it comes down to thinking versus intuition – but how do you tell the difference? To me, intuition is never indecisive, it may be quiet, it may get drowned out by wordly clamours, or it may be the answer is ‘I don’t know yet’. In which case stillness is required, being, not more thinking. Intuition is an effortless decision-making process. Well, apart from the effort of letting go of my thinking, that is!

Know your awareness, by feeling your experience. Jeddah Mali

As I dance through the weeks of the Chakradance training, I feel as if I am revisiting my seven intentions and seven chakras. Last week was the base chakra and my intention of home. I did a massive spring clean of my home space, clearing out the old to make space in my life. Then I experienced a journey of self-love into my body, grounding through the root chakra, through visualisation and earthing practices.

Not only do self-love and love of others go hand in hand but ultimately they are indistinguishable. M. Scott Peck

This week is the second chakra and my second intention, community. The dance of the second or sacral chakra, was just beautiful. The energy of the sacral chakra is very flowing, like water. The dance began with the hips – which I love, I have always been a hippy dancer, love to belly-dance. The visualisations were first of being in water, then of dancing under the full moon. I had a fabulous time, I was transported first to an underwater world, then to an Arabian desert under the full moon, where I belly-danced my heart out. Jung believed the second chakra was the gateway to the unconscious, a mysterious, watery netherworld of unlimited possibilities.

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’ Kurt Vonnegut

Svadhisthana – the sanskrit name for the second chakra, meaning sweetness – is where self-discovery, or individuation, begins. Jung believed that the second chakra was the beginning of the symbolic journey into the unconscious, a journey manifested through the remaining chakras. Chakradance draws on Jungian archetypes, and his concept of the shadow. The term ‘shadow’ is not intended as dark or negative in meaning, but as in ‘invisible’, it is literally the parts of ourselves we deny or refuse to accept.

Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise. Julie Cameron

The archetype associated with the sacral chakra is the Empress/Martyr. It is an archetype of feminine receptive power, the energy of water and the moon is strongly associated with this energy centre. The chakra resonates to the colour orange and is centred around the area of the reproductive organs. This chakra allows feelings to flow, encourages nurture, allows the setting of loving boundaries, creativity, and sensual expression.

Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the ‘creative bug’ is just a wee voice telling you, ‘I’d like my crayons back, please.’ Hugh MacLeod

Christianne Northrup writes that the key to balancing the spiritual and emotional issues that can block energy in the second chakra is addressing your drives toward sex, money, and relationships; co-creating with others; defining boundaries; including when to be assertive and when to be passive.

To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven. The Byrds

Caroline Myss believes that while the base chakra is the tribal chakra, the sacral chakra is about how you relate one-to-one, it is your need to control other people, places and things. It is the place where you feel the heat of competition, the sting of jealousy, and the pang of measuring yourself against others. Wanting to control others, to feel needed, is the martyr shadow side of this chakra. When unconsciously seeking to be needed, it costs you energy, transmitting a part of your spirit to infiltrate that other person’s energy, plus you are also the recipient of other people doing this to you.

The second chakra connects you to everyone and everything you have ever wanted to control. Caroline Myss

According to Caroline Myss, trauma comes from investing your energy into perceptions you know are not true. Competition, vengeance, unforgiveness. These are tribal beliefs about justice. The second chakra requires that you shift to divine justice, trust in the divine karmic accounting system. This includes your beliefs about money. And your occupation, in the sense that what you do with your time can either be expressing your creative flow or stifling your creative flow.

I work extremely hard doing what I love, mainly to ensure that I don’t have to work extremely hard doing what I hate. Hugh MacLeod

Monetary affluence is influenced by this energy centre, as money is an energetic flow. According to Rev. Dr. Susan Corso, there are two modes of money flow: circulation and congestion. Circulation is paying your bills, giving to charity, practising trust and generousity. Congestion is hoarding, being fearful, and stingy.

Money is meant to keep moving from hand to hand, which is why it is called currency. Greed and hoarding undermine, even destroy, the purpose of money and cause the current to stagnate. The more that money flows in a society, the richer the society is, because the flow supports the unfolding of human potential in all of its citizens. Mayuri Onerheim

So money is a current, a currency. It should flow in the now. Rev. Dr. Susan Corso provides some techniques for getting in the flow with money yourself. She suggests you ‘pray your bills,’ that is, you give thanks for what the bills represent, shelter, water, heat, clothing, food, and for the money to pay them.

For me, it’s helpful to remember that humans survived for centuries without money. Animals today survive without it. Chris Cade

She also suggests you ‘bless your money,’ so whatever money comes through you, you bless and send on its way. These practices recognise money as an energy in motion, and resist the need to grasp or attach to it, which actually stops its flow and decreases your chance of abundance and affluence. I will certainly be giving these tips a go!

This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. Douglas Adams

Money is a resource, not a need. Money is conceptual; those bits of paper have no value except though our consensus. Old forms of currency had inherent value, salt, that has value, gold has value. Money has no inherent value. So what I want is not money, but freedom, choice, and security, these attributes we have have given to the concept of money.

The economic system is a human invention. The idea of capitalism, free enterprise, corporations – these are not forces of nature. There are some things in nature we have to live with – physics, chemistry, biology… Why do we bow before human-created ideas? We can change those things! We can’t change our dependence on the biosphere for our survival. David Suzuki

It’s a pretty ludicrous concept really. However it is the current paradigm, so the lesson for me is that my attachment to outcomes, whether about money or anything in life, stops the flow. So my job is to remain unattached. Money or no money, I am okay with either for my highest good.

If you do what you need, you’re surviving. If you do what you want, you’re living. Unknown

The healing aspect of this chakra, according to Carline Myss, is in shared spiritual experience, the need to experience the sacred in connection with others. Ritual is a fundamental human need: for us to have daily rapport with the sacred. To share this experience is to honour one another. Vitality in this chakra comes from divine connections with others, this can be meeting with a beloved group of friends for coffee and deep and meaningful talks, dancing, choirs, group meditation, yoga, bushwalking in a group – anything that connects you with others and the divinity of life in a sacred way.

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

Today’s affirmations on the sacral chakra by Natalie Southgate:

Pleasure is a good and valuable part of my life.

I give myself permission to fully enjoy my sexuality.

I allow abundance and prosperity into my life.

I allow my emotions to flow through me in a healthy way.

I am open to experiencing the present moment through my senses.

The universe is full of sweetness and beauty.

I easily express my emotions – they feel free and flowing.

have an abundance of healthy, sensual pleasures in my life.

I ensure that I am always hydrated and I enjoy drinking water.

I can identify what I need, and ask for it.

I enjoy stimulating and healthy sexual relationships.

I love to dance, moving with music feels good to me.

I am in touch with my sensitive side.

Bless!

 

Further Reading

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/03/escape-the-shoulda-woulda-coulda-by-energizing-your-second-chakra/

http://www.wellbeing.com.au/blog/the-sacral-chakra-your-emotional-centre/

http://carljungdepthpsychology.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/symbolism-of-chakra-system-of-kundalini.html

http://www.logosofmoney.com/conscious-money/sex-and-money/

Click to access Omnifaith_Financial_Surplus_Practices.pdf

 

Title image: Toni Carmine Salerno Angels, Goddesses, and Gods oracle cards