Give me a sign, like, right now

angel-bigstock-fractal-rendering-of-rainbow-a-12108041

Miracles do not happen in contradiction to nature, but only in contradiction to what is known in nature. Saint Augustine

This post wasn’t supposed to be about miracles, it was meant to be about receiving a sign that I am on the right track with all this intentions stuff. I went looking for quotes about signs but they just weren’t right, and then I read a quote about miracles, and realised, ah yes, that’s what I’m really asking for.

Marianne Williamson says miracles come in all shapes and sizes, large and small, and that there is no order of importance in miracles. All prayers are answered. All that is required is love – a belief in love as a unifying, connective force between all that is.

Where there is great love, there are always miracles. Willa Cather 

It’s easy to think of miracles as something only saints and religious types can do, providing food from nothing, parting the seas. Yet when we open our hearts and minds, it is possible to tap into this same energy in our own lives. There is no rule that says I can’t ask for a miracle parking spot, as much as I ask for world peace. I have some problems accepting that idea. Probably because my ego, unlike cosmic power, has a hierarchy of importance in regards to the way the world is. In spirit, if we are all one, any good that comes to me, comes to all. And any good I give to the world, comes to me.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein

So where has this burning desire for a miraculous sign come from? Where else does the thirst for hope come from, but the emptiness of despair.

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. Buddha

This week has been… where are the words when I need them? Look up ‘the most gut-wrenching heartbreak’ in the thesaurus. Still inadequate. Grief. Sadness. Loss. Confusion. More sadness. Feeling depleted, emptied out, with a sense of hopelessness and futility – like someone set off a bomb inside me and then scraped out the mess of my innards with a rake. Raw, painful. How could I possibly write a post on manifesting intentions this week, when everything seemed so bleak?

In any given moment when the world is too much with us, we can take a deep breath and travel home to the inner room inside our minds. Marianne Williamson

For the first time since starting this blog, I understood how much my emotional resilience has been supported by frequent meditation and energy work. Each time I went into my inner space, I didn’t believe it would work. I didn’t think it could relieve the feelings of grief and despair. Yet I kept coming back to meditation, and to chakra work, to be honest because I desperately needed some respite, some relief. After half an hour or an hour, I would be immensely soothed and comforted, my hope would return and my energy levels were replenished and I felt again that I had something to give. Even if I hadn’t felt that it was a ‘good’ meditation session, even if I had been unfocused, distracted, and filled with competing thoughts. It STILL worked.

Let me recognize my problems have been solved. A Course in Miracles

It would not be an overstatement to say I have been blown away by the power of this ability to heal, to rejuvenate myself energetically on demand. I would not have wished the circumstances, but I am grateful that I have this practice in place, that I have been able to rise to life on life’s terms with strength and the ability to tap into an never-ending, inner supply of love and compassion for others.

Either you take in believing in miracles or you stand still like the hummingbird. Henry Miller

And suddenly, I am not hopeless. Instead, I am open, curious, and determined. I want a sign. I mean I REALLY want a sign. Of what? Something to tell me I’m not loopy, that I all I am experiencing has depth and meaning.

I picked up the book E-squared by Pam Grout – E-Squared: 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your RealityI ordered this book months ago, started reading, did the first exercise, and then promptly forgot all about it.

This time, I mean business. Pam’s book is a very down-to-Earth, “piss or get off the pot” approach to manifesting intentions.

I am realistic – I expect miracles. Wayne W. Dyer

The premise is that you take 21 days to practise 9 simple experiments – and by simple, I mean, like watching out for green cars or yellow butterflies for a day. Yes. Really simple. And by the end of that time, she claims you will have evidence that your thoughts create your reality.

These are the spiritual experiments you can test in E-Squared:

1. There is an invisible energy force or field of infinite possibilities.

2. You impact the field and draw from it according to your beliefs and expectations.

3. You, too, are a field of energy.

4. Whatever you focus on expands.

5. Your connection to the field provides accurate and unlimited guidance.

6. Your thoughts and consciousness impact matter.

7. Your thoughts and consciousness provide the scaffolding for your physical body.

8. You are connected to everything and everyone else in the universe.

9. The universe is limitless, abundant, and strangely accommodating.

And if that doesn’t tantalise you, Pam adds, “Among other things, it teaches people how to drop poundage by doing nothing but changing the focus of their thoughts.” Okay. You’ve got me there.

I’m doing my part now (even as we speak) to get up every day, pronounce that something amazingly awesome is going to happen to me today and to spend my day in unadulterated wonderment at all the world’s blessings and miracles. Pam Grout

I have to admit, I have always felt it was a little rude for me, lil old me, to demand things of the great cosmos. I felt I should just be grateful for my blessings, there’s so many less fortunate people, who am I, cup in hand like a Dickens-esque street urchin, to ask for more.

Life is a miracle. We, all of us are creator beings. We are the joyful choice makers. Sakshi Chetana

However a few weeks ago, someone said to me, “Just ask for signs. Make it a really clear request.” At the time I was grappling with cutting contact with someone, so I said to the cosmos “When the time is right to block him on Facebook, show me three black cars in a row.”

And then I thought, either this won’t work, or if it does I should be using my powers to end world hunger and global warming…

Nearly 24 hours later I was driving my mother and my son, and I saw three black cars parked. “Hmmm” I thought. But you see they weren’t in a row, there was six cars, and the black ones were interspersed by other colours. “I don’t know if that was the sign, I mean shouldn’t it be three black cars in a row?”

And then three black cars drove past in a row. No, it wasn’t a wedding procession, just three random, various model cars, at that moment coming my way, in a perfect row.

“Okay, universe,” I said,  “I’ll block him.”

I realized it for the first time in my life: there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don’t even know it. Sue Monk Kidd

You may ask, what qualifications does Pam Grout have to be writing about thoughts creating reality? She’s a freelance writer. She writes and travels. My DREAM job, so I for one am all ears!

A few weeks ago, I decided to put my writing out there, as well as my other professional skills, via the professional network LinkedIn. I found a freelance writer that I knew through work, and we are meeting for coffee to talk shop. It’s easy to understand how a network like this works, but if you think about it, the energetic network is like a cosmic LinkedIn, we are all connected, it’s just a matter of putting our intentions out there, so the appropriate contacts can be linked into our intentions.

Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see. C.S. Lewis

So 48 hours after I did the first experiment in Pam’s book, where you effectively ask the universe to show themselves. I went to the bank not expecting to have enough money to last the weekend and surprisingly I did. I had so many unexpected people praise my blog and encourage me to keep writing, at a time when I felt all the guts punched out of me.

I have admit, I was hoping for something more, something absolutely definitive, like the black cars. Then I remember my doubt at the black cars. Would I know a sign if I saw it? Would it convince me? So the next experiment from the book was actually asking to see particular things, in this instance, green cars and yellow butterflies.

To witness miracles unfold in your experience, count your blessings and be thankful. Perceived small blessings accumulate to be the most powerful. T.F. Hodge

Sometimes the vague sense of cosmic love is enough for me, but what I wanted now was a clear sign that I’m not completely loopy in this quest.

Waiting…

In the meantime I keep writing, it’s the only thing that fills me with that sense of purpose. I may not be the greatest writer, but it feels right.

To walk quietly until the miracle in everything speaks is poetry, whether we write it down or not. Mark Nepo

And I kept on with Pam’s experiments, even though to be honest, I felt I had more success with my own little experiment. I hadn’t felt the results of anything in days, I knew part of the problem was a lack of attention. I forgot to keep looking, and apparently that’s a large part of this intention thing. My mind distracts me. I keep forgetting to do the intention thing before I go to sleep…

You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle. Shannon L. Alder

In the midst of this topsy-turvy week, my dad asked me to write a blog about his travel experiences. It was so lovely to read his writing of sixty years ago. If nothing else, it inspired the hope that my children and grandchildren will have the pleasure of knowing me through my writing, seeing into that window of a faded version of self. One by then, like my dad, I may have only tenuous links to. (By the way, this new blog is Dad’s travel Diaries.)

Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never even have imagined. The coincidences or little miracles that happen every day of your life are hints that the universe has much bigger plans for you than you ever dreamed of for yourself. Deepak Chopra

The inspiration for Seven Intentions was to create intentions around my heart’s deepest desires and allow them to appear. This week has given me a certain – albeit brutal – clarity. I love writing, hell, I live to write. I am a writer. It’s my deepest heart’s desire. I know that now with certainty.

I may not be the writer I wish to be – yet – but it’s my purpose. And I see that I came into this project, this experiment, with very hazy intentions, and through this process these intentions are becoming crystalline. It is then, and only then, that my intentions present a coherent vision for the universe to act upon.

In my despair of this week I felt nothing was working, what did I have to show for all this ‘putting it out there’? I realise the answer is that I have everything, I have purpose, I have a reason to be.

And the beauty is that this purpose is all inside of me, it’s all mine – not dependent on any external things. It’s the only thing that doesn’t revolve around what I do for others, what I have. This is what I am. I could be locked in a dark cell and my imagination would still write stories with an invisible pen on the inside walls of my brain. This essence of my being cannot be stripped away. I can doubt it, and I do every day, but it’s always there, and nobody, nothing can take it away from me. It’s my spirit.

My wish for you, dear readers, is that if you haven’t already, you find a passion that burns in your soul, in this way.

Recently I read in a couple of different places, that depressed people tend to only use certain parts of their brain. Like a person who walks the same route very day and never sees the amazing scenery a block from their house, depression causes a person to rethink the same old (depressed) thoughts over and over. Cheryl Lee Harnish talks about purposely trying to think new thoughts, any thoughts, to force her mind out of its ruts. To create new neural pathways. And I think it’s the same leap to make between neuro-typical thinking and miraculous thinking. It’s just a matter of looking with fresh eyes.

Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you’d see. Lemony Snicket

And what do you know? Since I wrote that and made that intention to open my mind to new ways of thinking, all I have seen is green cars and yellow butterflies. Mindfulness, awareness, and gratitude seem to be the ingredients of miracles. Oh, and joy. Joy is a miracle-magnet. This week I have learned from my brave friend, the ability to experience joy in the darkest corners of life.

There is within each of us the possibility of magnificence. Every moment is an opportunity to make it manifest. Marianne Williamson

Today’s affirmations (from bmindful.com):

I am a miracle magnet.

I see big and small miracles everywhere because I expect them to happen.

I am fully open and receptive to miracles in every wonderful way.

I am now experiencing miracles of love, abundance, creative fulfilment, and prosperity.

Mindful creativity is the key to blessing and miracles.

I realise that my life is a miracle and I am grateful for my blessings.

Miracles are a natural part of giving and living.

Bless!

 

Title image:http://www.authenticandfree.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/angel-bigstock-fractal-rendering-of-rainbow-a-12108041.jpg 

 

 

Advertisements

2 comments on “Give me a sign, like, right now

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s