Getting my heart unstuck

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. Dalai Lama

This week I had an old flame contact me. An old, OLD flame. No sight nor sound of him in fifteen years. Then boom! And so much has happened in those intervening years – not wishing to overstate it, but in that time, there has been a complete revolution in my whole way of life. Quite literally, I am not the girl I used to be. Well, for a start, I’m a 40 year old woman now.

This blast from the past resurfaced some extraordinarily painful memories for me. Memories of a time when I was on a chaotic path of self-destruction. Although I have changed my trajectory, there are still traces, remnants of that time in my being. My heart bears the scars from those years.

You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to teach anything. You just have to be who you are: a bright flame shining in the darkness of despair, a shining example of a person able to cross bridges by opening your heart and mind. Tsoknyi Rinpoche

A few days before this contact, I made a wish to be completely free of my past. Using Paul Pearsall’s wishing technique that I described in this previous post. Hand over heart, I whispered my entreaty. Three days later I received his emails.

I trust that this is the universe’s response to my wish. I would have preferred something bright and shiny, but life’s not always like that, is it? I’m sure the journey to bright and shiny involves confronting some demons in a few dark recesses from the past – not that he’s the demon, it’s MY unresolved guilt, shame and pain that haunts me.

This quest into the heart of being is a hero journey of sorts, like the Lords of the Rings saga, or maybe the Princess Bride. Okay, universe, I get it! I will vanquish the dark forces within to claim my prize. There is a prize, right?

Romantic allusions aside, the truth is that the pain we cause others is recorded in our own body, as we are all connected. To hurt another, and to be hurt, especially with someone you love, is to deeply engrave that pain into your being – like an energetic tattoo. To release the past you have to feel this pain and honour it’s lesson. This is the true meaning of making amends.

Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves.

 Rainer Maria Rilke

Now, I don’t know about you but I haven’t been meditating and living mindfully all my life. I have accumulated some serious baggage, so making the commitment, this intention to clear away this emotional stuff is no walk in the park. It’s easy to feel discouraged, downhearted, and my thoughts do lead me to a place of feeling hopeless and exhausted sometimes. It takes real self-discipline to keep meditating, to keep the willingness to face and be rid of these things that block you from your true being.

But it’s definitely worth it.

There is a light that shines beyond all things on Earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens.
This is the light that shines in our heart.


The Sanskrit word for the heart chakra is अनाहत, Anāhata, meaning “un-struck.” This name conceptualises the idea that the heart is resonant, an ‘unstruck’ instrument echoing the sounds of the celestial realm. Anahata also means unhurt and unbeaten. Which is a nice image for those feeling a little weary of heart.

I must have read that word  – unstruck – about a hundred times while I was researching this post. But every time I read it as ‘un-stuck’. So I’m going to go with that. It makes sense to me that I could get ‘unstuck’ through my heart chakra.

So how do I get my heart unstuck? How do I get unstuck from the past and into present moment awareness?

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. Confucius

Marianne Williamson, in her book, A Return to Love, writes that the only lesson we need carry from the past is love. The rest – the pain, guilt, remorse, even the idea that we are damaged in some way – simply does not exist in present moment awareness. It is a construct of the ego-mind.

Meditating on the heart chakra helps to shift from ego-based fear to resonating with the energy of love and compassion. The Buddhist meditation technique using the metta (or loving kindness prayer) is used to open the heart chakra and heal old emotional wounds.

The metta prayer is usually recited first for yourself, then your loved ones, then neutral people (or strangers), then your enemies, and then all sentient beings, in an ever widening circle of love and compassion.

May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings awaken to the light of their true nature.
May all beings be free. The Metta Prayer

Through your heart chakra, you have the choice to expand your consciousness through the power of love or contract your consciousness through the power of fear. Many cultures believe the heart chakra is the seat of your soul in your body.

The heart chakra is located in the center of the chest, and it rules the heart and lungs.This chakra is associated with the feelings of love and compassion. Anahata is related to the element air, it is accessible through the breath. Visualising breathing through your heart centre, imagining love-filled light entering your body via your heart is a wonderful heart-opening exercise.

The recurring theme in all that I have been reading and experiencing in the last few weeks – and there’s a great deal of synchronicity going on here – is that the heart is the centre of our soul’s wisdom. Our heart is the ‘other’ mind of our body, and it is far more responsible for governing our lives and actions than we give it credit for.

Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he/she has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more — more unseen forms become manifest to her.

Research from the Institute of HeartMath – a nonprofit research and education organisation – shows that the heart itself is an intelligent system.The physical heart has its own nervous system, called the intrinsic cardiac nervous system. Neurocardiologists have nicknamed it the “heart brain.”

The Institute of HeartMath found the heart to be approximately 60 times greater electrically and up to 5,000 times stronger magnetically than the brain.The heart and the brain are constantly in communication with one another, with the heart sending more information to the brain than vice versa.

The heart influences the centres of the brain involved in perception, intuition and emotional experience.

The Institute of HeartMath describe ‘heart coherence’ as a state in which “the heart, mind and emotions are in harmonious alignment, which studies show enhances health and performance in a wide range of contexts.”

Worry affects the circulation, the heart, the glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects heart action. Dr. Charles H. Mayo

You can increase your heart’s coherence simply by focusing on positive feelings of love, compassion and gratitude.

Heart coherence allows us to communicate via our heart waves. The electromagnetic range of the heart extends far beyond our physicality and can expand further through meditation and mindful expansion. Could this heart energy explain why you can tap into the moods of people you know well? Have you ever walked into a room and felt a dark cloud of negative energy? Or been around loved ones and felt your heart energy expand?

When the heart opens, we forget ourselves and the world pours in: this world, and also the invisible world of meaning that sustains everything that was and ever shall be. Roger Housden

In states of heart coherence, the heart and brain operate synergistically, increasing the efficiency and function of both organs. As the term ‘coherence’ suggests, in this state the heart radiates a more coherent electromagnetic energy field and this has a positive effect on the individual and their environment.

It is the challenge of our hearts to connect with and receive the love of our Higher Self so that we can heal the harm that others have done to us. Then, from the heart space of healing and self-love, we can love others as well. Quintessential Alchemy

You can increase your heart’s coherence by focusing on love, compassion and gratitude. The heart teaches us that themes of love, compassion, letting go, trust and openheartedness have physiological as well as psychological effects. Acting synergistically with your heart has personal, local and global effects.

The Earth stores the energetic collection of human emotions and behaviours, in the same way your electromagnetic field stores your experiences. That is, the Earth affects you, but you also affect Earth’s environment – not only through your actions – through your thoughts, emotions, and intentions. This is the true effect of the collective unconscious.

As more of humanity practices heart-based living, it will qualify the ‘rite of passage’ into the next level of consciousness and intelligence that we are approaching at this time. Using our hearts’ intuitive guidance in our discernments, choices and interactions will eventually become acts of common-sense, based on practical intelligence. Doc Childre

At the end of the day, at the end of my days, will I regret having opened my heart, forgiven readily and fully, and having believed that as I practice love, I participate in shift towards personal, local and global healing? Its hard to imagine how I could.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own energy. How would you change your thoughts if you acted as if your thoughts and emotions actually affected the Earth’s energetic field? Would you focus on creating increased personal, social, and global heart coherence?

Becoming unstuck means more to me than healing my own heart. It signifies a commitment to love and compassion as a way of being in the world. That said, the only place it can begin is in my own heart.

Today’s affirmations:

I am breathing deeply and effortlessly.

I am increasing my heart’s coherence by focusing on love, compassion and gratitude.

I have compassion for myself.

I forgive easily and open myself to infinite joy.

I release the heavy burden of guilt and embrace the lightness of my heart.

My heart is filled with trust and compassion for myself and others.

I am healing myself, my loved ones, all sentient beings, and the Earth itself through opening my heart.

And a lovely, short Heart-Earth healing meditation by Drumvalo Melchiezedek:


More information on the healing heart energy:

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